Whose Decision to Divorce?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Whose Decision to Divorce?
13
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 9:13pm

Whose Decision to Divorce?



  • Wife
  • Husband
  • Mutual


You will be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 11:51pm

In my case, my xh decided that he wanted to move out/separate, whatever, but then refused to get the ball rolling (even though he threatened for quite some time) on the divorce. In my opinion, it was his way of attempting to get out child support for that much longer...

I finally got fed up, hired an attorney and had the papers drawn up and filed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 9:13am
It seems to happen in a lot of cases here! The H puts your back against the wall. However, in some cases, when you actually file because they're too lazy or want to gain something, then they freak out!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 9:17am
i voted wife. but ---- it was like this: husband (now ex) didn't act like a husband, was abusive, did everything in his power to ruin the marriage, push me away, so yes - *I* initiated it, but the desire to get divorced was mutual (i think). if it wasn't mutual, then at any rate, he didn't do anything to SAVE the marriage
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 6:43pm
I

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:08am
He left me, but I filed for divorce for financial reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:50am

"I decided to divorce, but it was a result of his behavior.... so, really, he decided that the divorce woudl happen by his actions... and inactions. I'm just the one who was left to do the dirty work of making it happen."

Wow, Karen, I was thinking of how to say it, but you nailed it on the head. My STBX is the king of inaction. This means I get to be crazy, mean, b*tch, and he's the poor helpless victim of an uncaring woman who doesn't understand him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 8:32am

My EX is the King of Victim.... but only in his eyes and those who don't know him who buy into his patheticness.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 10:05am
It was 100% his decision though after 4 months of seperation he has yet to file!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 10:57am

"You know I didn't want children, but you did, so I gave them to you...." I'm like, look buddy.... WE decided to have children, so get over that line of crap and be a father."

You know, the day I took off my wedding ring was the day when my STBX and I had a fight that ended with a phrase similar to that. I said I needed help with the house because he wouldn't help clean or fix small problems. He responded with "I didn't want this house. You're the one who wanted a house, just like you're the one who wanted a second child". Over the course of the almost two years that followed, he would not only say I was the one who wanted the second child, but that the first one was an accident. When we got pregnant with our son, we had been married 3 years and it was a surprise, but no accident. We planned our daughter though. When he said that to me it broke my heart.

I think our exes could be co-King's of Victim. Perhaps long lost brothers who were separated at birth?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 11:09am

It sure sounds like it!


It's just a good thing that we're the Queens of Survival!... and they underestimated us!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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