Why am I feeling jealousy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Why am I feeling jealousy
2
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 11:09pm

I have been separated for 10 months from my hubby of 15 years. Our divorce was final a month ago. I move 2 hours away and now everytime I take our kids to meet him, I just cry all the way back home. He is telling me that it is time for him to move on and find someone else to love and its hurting me so bad. I am so jealous of that even though I have had a bf for several months who I really love and he is a better man than ex. I am jealous cause he is going out and looking, I know I should care less cause he was so abusive to me physically and mentally but I hurt so bad now. I could have cared less before this was final but now it hurts and I dont know how I am going to handle it when i find out he has someone else. I am so jealousy he has all this new stuff and I have lived a year without child support from him for our 3 kids. Is it normal to be hurting like this now and is this jealousy a normal thing? Has anyone else felt this way? I have even been thinking about going back to him cause I do miss him and I do care about him but I am not in love with him. I jsut dont know anymore what I should do about him, cause I knoe if I go back it will be the same as it was before. And I do have a much better like now then I did then. Can someone please tell me if this is normal or not and how I can get over him and all this jealousy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 11:38pm

Hi wanttobefree,

I am still married and trying to divorce just to explain my situation. I used to feel so jealous a few years ago when my husband mentioned divorce. I felt jealous then because I felt like he can move on with his life while I an STUCK with 3 kids and no future. Yes, I have 3 kids myself. But now that my career is going and I am back in school, and have created my routine life without him, I am very happy with my life and all the possibilities. When I felt that excitement, that is when I became careless about him. I think once you find hopes and possibilities in your life, you will realize that there is nothing to miss and to be jealous about him. Focus on what makes you happy and go for it!

For as me, I am just starting my own divorce process and came here to seek some wisdom not too long ago. I hope you do well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 2:17pm



I just want to tell you what happenend to me last year. I left my H cause he was abusive but also cause he was insensitive to my needs and not affectionite at all. Well, I found someone else who was , by far, a better man than my H. He treated me like gold, gave me what i wanted and yet I couldnt get over my H. My H had moved on with an old friend of mine himself, yet would still call me and tell me he loved me and needed me. As much as I wanted to make it work w/OM I still thought I needed my H in my life. To sum it up, I foolishly decided to go back to my H and messed up what could have been the best relationship for me. I am now the mother of 3, with my third possibly being the product of my big mistake w/my H or (hopefully) she is the ex's. Dont screw up a good thing foir something you know is wrong and isnt gonna work. I look back and if I could do it again, I would have NEVER went back to him.








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