Why am I so afraid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Why am I so afraid?
8
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 2:32pm

After 11 years of marriage I am coming to the end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 4:43pm

It's natural to be afraid of something new when you don't know how it will turn out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 2:16am

What your feeling is normal. It's simply called "fear of the unknown" It's scary for most women to give up what you know and is comfortable for the unknown, but you will adjust. The best way is to take life one day at a time and try not to think too far ahead.about what may or may not happen. Since your H has been abusive you will feel a big weight lifted off your shoulders no longer having to deal with that.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 7:22am

Life,

In sales they call it "buyers remorse," that feeling you get the day after you make a big purchase and wind up regretting it.

Leaving a relationship is fraught with emotions: fear, regret, sadness, along with excitement, joy, and anticipation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 12:09pm

Hi Wisdom

I think the OP said that her husband was and is abusive?? I was married to a verbal abuser and mine didnt change. He changed victims.

The change for an abuser statistics point out are very low even with extensive counseling.. Me and my ex tried all of that and nothing changed.

I would be more afraid of staying with the guy than getting a condo and being on my own........

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 11:33am

Thanks to all of the caring responses....You have all touched on a true aspect of my mess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 3:10pm

Here is what I think? I think you should def. go on your own and get a divorce from this controlling and abusive man. He wont change and most abusers dont think they have a problem. I hope you go and move into the condo . Do you have money and do you work? Have you seen an attorney? You need to talk with a lawyer asap and find out your rights in

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 9:28am
Freeatlast....I have lots of questions for you. Is there some way we can correspond off the board? I am plagued with abandonment issues. Yes, I have seen an attorney and have done a ton of counseling too. Yet I'm still afraid. My H is a high performing upper management professional. He can be very kind--and then very nasty but others don't see it in his work or friendships. Please let me know how I can access you! (:
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 4:49pm

okay.. You can send me a private message on here through ivillage.. I do it all the time and yet I forgot how to.. I think you have to go to boards and click on that and you see on the right hand side something that says private message this person. You then put my user name in the space where it says send message to this person..

Oh; wait. let me private message you and then