Why am I still suprised when he pulls

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Why am I still suprised when he pulls
12
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 10:37pm
this stuff?!!!
Now he is bothering me about my dd in year 3 of her college education. Apparently in order for her to be covered under his companies insurance she must be one of his excemptions on his federal taxes. Well I claimed her last year in order for her to be eligible for more federal loans and now his company is threatening to make him pay back a whole year of insurance. Then he tells me that he can file an amendment to the tax and reclaim her as a dependant! I tell him no way - then the loans can be revoked! Plus then I would owe back taxes!! So then he asks me what are "we" going to do about the almost $4000.00 he owes for insurance!!!! WE? No way - there is no WE anymore. Whatever mistakes he made last year on her eligibilty is his fault and his penalty to pay!!!
So I ask again - Why am I still surprised when he pulls this stuff?
Have any of you had to go thru this? His income is 2 1/2 times mine so if she is his dependant then she qualifies for little or no money. Yet he dosen't offer her any of his $$$. He hasn't paid one cent toward her college. I paid for the first two years while we were still married - and he still thinks I "owe" him money!! He refused to give her the "free" scholarship that his company offers. He said that he had to pay $500.00 in taxes for that money?!!! Totally untrue. I found out from the man in charge of the fund that his company actually adds $50.00 per week to his gross pay and taxes that!
What is a college kid suppose to do for health insurance? I'm checking into adding her to mine where I work, but if I have to pay a lot out of pocket to put her on I can't afford it!
Any suggestions or advise would be greatly appreciated as always. Thanks for letting me rant a little too! ;}
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 4:25pm
I'm really sorry your DD is having to deal with this with her Dad. It is a very hard thing to have to go through. I'm 30 and still have days were I am consumed by thoughts of the way my Dad is. I will never understand why some people don't want to be a part of their childrnes lives. I knmow that I would never not be or want to be involved in every aspect of my kids lives. The best thing to help me deal with is my Mom's love and support. It really makes all difference for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 4:46pm
ok ya'll are gonna finally hear what i have to say..it's not positive in any way so if you're easily offended by nasty remarks about men, it might be a good time for you to skip my post or get a coke from the fridge...all i have to say is that i have tried this OLD stuff for about 6 months and i've tried everything the experts advise...i've tried getting to know them first before meeting, not meeting in private places, not talking about exes, not saying bad things about men, not saying anything private about my children, not sexing them up, not saying anything that could be interpreted as hostile or offensive, but i still have found very few men online that aren't liars, cheats, or anything that's even remotely worth dating twice....is it just that the dating websites have a very nasty reputation in the male community of being a great place to find sex or what??? I think that these websites are rumored to be just that, and that's why women are finding it even more difficult to find quality men in any place at all....but I think the net is fast becoming the worst place to find quality men...yes, i've talked to a few but it rarely goes much further than one date...and this website is kinda lame too in a way...if you read some of the articles about how to understand men and the way they converse, it implies that we should reading their minds...ok, ladies, how many of you can actually say you know exactly what a man is thinking before he opens his mouth??? I know I can't...not only that but from all the posts that I have read most of the men aren't honest, don't know what they want, and are really poor at communicating....and we're supposed to be able to read their minds when they don't even know what they want in the first place??? if they were honest and actually knew what they want, the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is...not to say that women are any better...but at least try to know what you want, before you try to communicate that with a partner...furthermore, if they don't know what they want, why are they faking it in a relationship to begin with??? shouldn't they figure that out before they enter into one?? but maybe that would be too easy to do to avoid the drama they bring into a relationship...i'm just tired of men blaming women for all the drama, when they bring just as much, if not more at times

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