Why do I always end up feeling like thi?
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Why do I always end up feeling like thi?
| Wed, 08-24-2005 - 9:48am |
Every time I think I have got it together I end up back in a slump. I found out from stbx that he was going on vacation with new girlfrienda nd her parents. We aren't even divorced yet. I can't understand how he could love me one minute and then be on vaction with a new girlfriend the next. I can hardly even imagine going on a date and he is ready to shack up with a new girl. He is almost 40 and she is still in her 20s. I can't stop feeling replaced. I feel like he just ran out on me for her. I try to remember that his actions have nothing to do with me, but I can't stop feeling horrible about myself for him leaving and not wanting to work on us. He had already moved on to this new girl. He had told me that he only wanted one child and that after our dd was born he couldn't imagine having another child. Now he wants to have kids with this girl. I gave up the second child I wanted and now he is going to have it someday with some other woman. I feel like I got the short end of the stick. I just need this to all be over. I almost wnat to be able to forget the last seven years of my life and start over with my dd. I guess that I just need to be reminded that life will get better and someday none of this will matter.

neverdull1...
Pianoguy thinks this comes down to the choice of "finishing one marriage before beginning a new relationship!" Obviously....your future EX doesn't have any consideration for your feelings...ONLY HIS OWN!
Instead of 'verbally kicking yourself' and analyzing why your marriage went to hell, WHY NOT WORK ON THE CHANGES THAT'LL BE REQUIRED FOR YOU TO LIVE A HAPPIER LIFE? Whether you 'got the short end of the stick' or not doesn't matter. YOUR PAST CAN'T BE CHANGED!
You can only work on the present and the future.....and part of that future is providing a better lifestyle for the 2 children you're setting an example for. You CAN pull this difficult chore off if you focus on THEM....and not the EX who is cheating. ?
Meanwhile....my prayers and thoughts of encouragement are with you.
Pianoguy
You know I feel the same way. We never had kids, he said he didn't want any, that was mainly why we are getting a divorce. Now he has been dating a girl with 2 twin boys, and he was seeing her before we even split up. It is so hard, but we have to stay strong. I'm about to just give up, I live back at home I've only been there for 3wks and my step dad already wants me to move out, but I really need to wait on housing assistance to help with my rent. I'm all alone and I hate being alone. It is even harder knowing that they have someone to help them through this and we don't, but I keep telling myself if I can make it through this alone I can do anything on my own. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and it's very hard to except. I totally understand where your coming from and know that your not alone on this. It is hard and it will be hard, but we can do it. Just say it over and over in your head, I can do it. It helps alittle.
Stacy
Love the name by the way....There are many of us here with almost the exact same story as you, unfortunately.......I was shocked when I started coming here to find out how many women were going thru the same thing I was and it has given me comfort and strength to know that I am not alone. My STBX decided to leave for another chic but still does not have enough respect for me to be a man and just own up to it.....instead he thinks he is hiding it and every one else and their brother just tells me.......it is sad....To me, any man that leaves a relationship to be with another woman is putting that woman before his children, and that is one wrong that you can not ever make right....we have three beautiful boys that he will never take for a weekend b/c he is busy driving 6 hours to see some chic....which is his choice,but it is so dead wrong.......It has been less than two months and I am extremely lonely, and at times get angry that he has some one and I do not......I am trying to focus more on myself and the fact that I am leaving this relationship with a clear consciense...he is not at all...We had several times in the marriage where I decided to be the one to forgive and forget...he is a schmuck...I have also made up my mind about what I want from the next guy and what kind of man he is going to be to have the priviledge to be in my life....I could go out tonight and find another guy just like my STBX, Heck, some chic did it while we were married......I chaulk his relationship now up to the fact that the wrong guys are a dime a dozen, you could find them with your eyes closed.....to find the right man, it is going to take some time and faith....Keep your head up and keep your mind on you and your dd happy future...and the new wonderful person, that in time, will be in it.......then you can pity the 20 something year old that is giving up her 20s to be with him, and you will know that he left the best part of him at home with you.....
I agree with pianoguy... that is the ONLY way I got out of my slump.....