Why does he call- It's long post--Sorry
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Why does he call- It's long post--Sorry
| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 1:58pm |
Well it's my anniversary today. I’m feeling pretty bad. Got a call from my ex last night, wanted to talk dirty, I said why don't you call your girlfriend, he said, oh I will later, but I am feeling a little mischievous, right now.. He tells me he's really happy with this girlfriend, but he still called me on Valentines Day, and our anniversary to ask stupid questions, that could of waited until another day. It is just to kick me in the gut over and over again. I don't want to look into this as it meaning anything, but I still replay our conversation, over and over in my head. Does he do things like this to be mean? He talks about his girlfriend, and he tells me how wonderful she is professional, beautiful, makes good money, has here own home, and yes I have had a tendency to ask questions, which I don’t know why. I still miss him so much; I know if we got back together, things would never be the same. When he does talk to me, he likes to tell me about his conquests, after we were separated, like he dated a girl that he dated before me. I initiated the conversation yesterday, I sent an e-mail, with a link, and that was all. That’s when he kept e-mailing me back and forth, asked about what I did for Valentines Day, and then called my cell, three times. I would like to be able to talk to him once and awhile, because we were good friends, before we started dating. I think that would only hurt my heart even more. One of my friends told me he only calls, when he’s feeling down and needs me to boost him back up. He knows I still love him. I am going to therapy, but I just sat there at bawled my eyes out, which just made me feel worse. He wanted to end this marriage, so why does he get in touch with me every couple of weeks; does he want to talk to hurt me, he always asks, How are you? When he does call, my heart leaps. I answer the phone, because I think it might be about the divorce or my belongings I may have left there, and to be perfectly honest, I want to hear his voice. What do I do??????

The short of it is that he calls.... because you answer.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I can't help you, but I can sympathize. Good luck. All my friends keep telling me to cut all ties, alot easier said than done when you love someone so much. Even if they've hurt you beyond belief.
I am sure I cant help any of you but can share. My X started having an affair with an old flame from 30 yrs ago....she is married and very "religious" so she says. X and her have a child together that her current husband raised. since 29 yrs ago.
Its a long messy soap opera. I have been crying several times a day for 3 months. its been a nightmare. We have been together for 29 years. He and this woman spent hours and hours and hours on the phone an din email. She lives too far away and is trying to uphold her religious convictions so she says while telling my x that as soon as they get together she will have sex with him anytime he wants.
Anyway I have been sleeping with him. I try to stop it but then dont. He was crying his eyes out one day and said he was sorry and he wish I could forgive him and he knew that was impossible blahblah
Now he wants me to wait for 3 months while he decides on this other woman. He is starting to have second thoughts. Her religion is having extreme effects on him. Plus he has caught her in lies. Gee wonder why? she is married. to me hiding secrets with another man is lieing. and deception. But my X says he always wondered all his life if staying with this woman 30 yrs ago would have worked.
Gee what is this Mid Life Crisis? he is 56..........is that too old for mid life crisis?
He divorced me and it was final Feb 1. So now I have NO insurance. course I will be able to draw 1/3 of his retirement right away. plus will get more SS as I can draw on his when I am 62 and it does NOT take away from his original amount.
Anyway he is leaving for a job about 250 miles away and will be working alot of hours and he wants to come back here every couple weeks for a day or two? I said yes ....now i am not so sure. I really really need to never see this man again. this has hurt me so that I have no idea when or how I will heal.
I am 57 I do not want to look for another mate. I think he wants to live with me this fall
for a year as his next job is near here. His married lover says she cannot leave her H for another year due to church obligations ....WTF?
so what am I spose to do ? "Service" him until then? This whatever it is they have is the most sickening disgusting thing I have seen.
anyway I know how you girls feel. Do I ? or Do I not?
that is the question.
He now says he thinks he loves ME more than Her. hmm is he telling the truth? how can you do what he has done to the woman you love?
But ......... I am in the same boat. I get confused about how i want to handle this thing. well he will be gone in a few days. Maybe I should just keep searching for healing and take it a day at a time. Perhaps I will have the strength to stop contact with him. I just think the deep hurt he has inflicted on me will never go away. I will dont know if I would ever totally forgive him or trust him again.
about the other woman. I guess she is overweight.....and married and religious which my X is not what is going on here.? he says he has only seen one recent picture from her waist up with he Family.........I saw it........she is plain not even pretty at all. and his daughter was in the picture who doesnt know ....poor thing........anyway
is it her voice? He says she is kind to him. well yeah she didnt have to live with him for 30 yrs so of course there were times I was not kind but in reality I was always kinder to him than me EVER! Ha wait till the get married and he finds out how important it is to her for him to join her church which I guarantee you he never ever will. I guess he pictures this 22 year old from 30 years ago.
oh who cares LOL I am going to spend this near future time alone to think and heal and get better perspective.
OK done venting!