Why does he still make me feel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Why does he still make me feel
3
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 9:35am

like I need to explain my actions to him? It's been over a year since he left and I've been doing quite well. For the most part I try to avoid any conversations with him at all. Yet, for some reason, he can still make me feel like I must be accountable to him for my every move. He feels it is his right to question me and for some reason I find myself trying to explain myself to him when I know it is none of his business. It's the things like "I saw you at such and such today, why weren't you at work?" or "I called last night to talk to the girls but there was no answer - where were you?" I know I should just tell him it's none of his business but after years and years of being controlled it's so hard to break out of the mold, ya know. I hate that he still has this power over me. * sigh*

Anyone else feel this way? Any advice?

Trudy




Edited 2/1/2007 9:39 am ET by tad123

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 10:01am
Hugs!!
I've been seperated for 14 months and still do the same at you and then kick myself for telling him! I am getting better though and will give him a roundabout answer like "I was with friends" or "I was out".
Keep working at it and don't let him get to you because it's not his business!!
Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 10:55am
My husband's ex wife used to ask him those same questions. Finally he told her if she wanted to know so bad, hire a P.I. and then she would know his every move. Needless to say she doesn't ask any more. It was her way of still being in control. You don't owe him any explanation. Live your life the way you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 1:42pm
NO! We have been living apart 3 weeks. I will never answer to anyone again regarding, where I have been or what I spent money on. I pitty the man who tries, I'll tear his heart out and feed it to dogs. I am so happy to be free! I wonder where my husband is only because, he has run out on me with a coworker and it makes my skin crawl to think of them doing things...they went skiing earlier this week. I see everything he does because, my husband and I still share a joint checking account (unitl the official separation is done and alimony and child support are arranged) and I need only to log onto our banking record.