Why is he so angry at me still?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Why is he so angry at me still?
11
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 4:55pm
Okay, so HE cheated, HE had the affair, HE got everything he wanted in the divorce, so why is HE so angry with ME?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 6:42pm
Girl I've been where you are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 7:10pm

I got the same treatment from the man that

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 7:50pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 9:50pm

CTD,


Glad you found us here. Hope you find support and ideas as you cope.


There's a couple different reasons the Ex who leaves or initiates the divorce get angry.


1)A process called "Villianization." This is where the spouse who wanted the divorce deflects blame for the end of the marriage back on the person they left. They can't accept any responsibility for leaving or having the affair, etc., so they have to make you look bad, i.e.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 10:53am
It's amazing to me how some people can rationalize their bad behavior, that it was your fault that he cheated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:08pm

Because honey.....GUILT, GUILT, GUILT!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 5:09pm







iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 5:39pm
I don't get it either. My STBX gets angry at me too and is just so mad and blaming me for why he wants a divorce. I guess it's their protection mechanism kicking in and that he doesn't want to take responsibility for his side of the deal. God forbid he caused anything. I am willing to admit my side of the relationship and I wasn't perfect or anything but it just makes me mad he isn't willing to admit his side of the relationship. And that he said, "I want a divorce" and guess who is doing all the leg work and hard work to get the divorce done with...ME.. NO responsibility. That makes me
Phoenix Firebird 08
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 7:30pm

Sometimes I think they're mad because they don't have you to take care of things any more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 11:23pm

You've gotten some good advice.


Mainly.... you don't have to OWN what he's tossing your way.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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