why is it so hard?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
why is it so hard?
2
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 10:13pm

i am practically married i have been with steve 3 years and have two children, here is my story.

he has become very verbally abuseive, after my second child she is a year old now, i have had trouble losing the weight, he makes comments and puts pressure for me to look better...this makes me want to eat more
he makes comments how i do not initiate sex enough, and that i do not have the same sex drive as him, he tells me to change it...this makes me want sex less.
he is extremely possessive and insecure, this came from precious relationship issues and i dont know how to fix it, he does not like me to do any more than bring the kids to a relastives house and hang out there for the day, a girls nite out or anything like that is absolitely out of the question
he telle me i have it made because we live with is parents so that we can save money to by a house and still i find no time for sex and exercise, this makes me want to take a nap even more..
i am jsut stuck, i love him, but do i love him or how he use to be ?? i love the man i met, not the man i am with now, and i think he feels the same about me
so now we try and break it off smoothly because there are children involved, i have to stay where i am living wise untili can find and apartment on my own. because we live with the in-laws we are still sharing a room, it has been a week of just being civl to each other and no intimacy or anything,w e still sleep in the same bed because neither one of us can fall alseep without the other.. but i am getting weak, and i miss him i miss his kiss touch everything, but i do not miss teh fighting and all of that. i am trying to be strong because i cant go back not unless he is willing to get help for the verbal abuse and his jealousy, but OMG it is so hard to not just try and give him a hug or kiss his shoulder when we are cuddling in bed tot rya n initiate something.
i need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 12:26pm

Hi there.... so he thinks that YOU have it made?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 9:53pm
thank you for your reply. now my ex (or nor ex) is soooooooooo sorry for all the mean things he said and how badly he treated me and says he knows he has a good girl and that i do more for him than anyone else and that he feels like he gets so jealous and pssessive because he is so afraid of losing me and he knows that is not my fault but he cant control i t and he is willing to go to counseling to try and get help. i dont know how i feel about this yet, i think frankly that he is just getting horny and that is why he is being so nice and so sorry, and i thing after a short while things will go back to the way they were. but i have my name on a list for housing and i am not taking my name off and when my name reaches the top of the list i think i will jsut see how things are and decide then if i will leave or not. if my name was to come up today i think i would still want to leave, but that is because i am very much so not convinced that he is really sorry and that things will really change.
thank you for your book suggestions as well i will look into them
mandy