Why is it so hard

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Why is it so hard
2
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 8:20pm
I don't understand why this has to be so hard. Today is such a hard day. I spent the day crying. I really hate this. I hate the fact that he can not love me enough. I hate the fact that this does not even bother him. It is like he is happy about this. I hate the fact that I feel this way. I hate looking at him. I hate that my life has turned out this way. I know I asked for a divorce. I know it is better this wa. Iknow I will be happy one day. I know I can't live with a him. In the back of my head I wish he would have tried to stop this. If he would have only said he wanted to fix it. I still would have filed I just wish he cared enough. WHy can;t I stop crying today. Why is it so hard.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 8:42pm

Hi Gal,


How well I remember feeling just like you when I realized a divorce was emminent in my first marriage.


It's hard because rejection is hard. It doesn't matter you filed the papers; it's the fact he didn't want to try to work it out and put the effort forth to keep the marriage together. That's

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:03am

Gal,

I'm sending you a whole lot of {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}} today.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Divorce is tough. Nothing can change that.

My divorce was final last week. I've run through a huge laundry list of emotions over the past 8 months. Some I didn't even know that I had inside of me!!

Divorce is a nightmare, roller coaster ride. There will be bad days, some very bad. Others will be good, or as good as they can get right now. Grieving is a huge part of dealing with divorce. A lot of people who are facing divorce don't even register grief with it. Giving oneself time, the gift of time and patience, to feel everything, work through each day, each emotion, and then giving yourself credit for overcoming those hurdles, is the best thing that you can do for yourself right now. Do you have a support system in place? It's a huge help. Having people that you trust, who care about you to listen, is a key in getting through this.

Taking care of yourself, physically, getting sleep, eating, pampering yourself will help too. I know that sounds ridiculous, especially the pampering part, but proving to yourself that you are worth the time and effort, helps! I got to the point that I would take one day a week, just for me. I usually wouldn't go anywhere. I'd take a hot bath, eat, sleep, read, whatever I felt like doing. It recharged my batteries many, many times, and gave me a bit of a nudge in the direction of healing.

Just know that I'm thinking about you today. We're here if you need us!!

Good luck,
Laurene