Wife left after 18 yrs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Wife left after 18 yrs
5
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 9:52pm
met at 16, 5 daughters later and 18 yrs she said she has fallen out of love with me because I did not listen enough to her needs. Want her back badly ,she wants a divorce.
Its tearing me up inside she,s been gone 2 months I get the kids 3 days out of the week. but seeing them is also hard because it brings about feelings of pain of the family we will never be again.I would step in front of a train for this woman and she will have nothing to do with me . not looking foward to the holidays.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 11:46pm

Hi -- I posted a rambling e-mail earlier. I have been married for 16 1/2 years and I filed for divorce. I am a mess. I cry every day. The holidays definitely make it worse - everyone is supposed to be happy and anyone going through a divorce is completely miserable.

I feel for you. I love my husband, but we can't love each other the way 2 people need to love each other. It hurts.

Big hugs to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 5:28am
Thanks, hope you find some hapiness,support,love soon as well maybe santa will bring us both some.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 8:33am

njpiii...

If you "didn't listen enough to her needs" after 18 years of marriage....why do you think your almost EX will believe you're capable of changing?

Having said this...Pianoguy can only suggest marriage counselling before she files for divorce. Keep in mind that the 2 of you will have to go through the mediation process before any divorce hearing can happen!

So if you think there's the remotest chance your wife will agree to individual or joint counselling...TALK TO HER ABOUT IT! It also wouldn't hurt to tell her that YOU LOVE HER and that YOUR LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT HER!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 9:10am

I'm sorry that you find yourself at this junction in life especially at the holidays.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2003
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 11:42am

Thank you -- Someone told me the other day that divorce is like a death, only you still see the person. You go through grief of what was supposed to be, could have been, etc. I have days where I am okay, and then others I absolutely fall apart and I am the one that filed.

The holidays are going to be tough. Normally my parents drive me insane, but I plan to take my 11 year old son and go visit for 4 days. I'm looking forward to it -- that's scary - lol.

I hope things get easier for you also.

Oh -- I see a therapist - have you thought about going to see a therapist? Sometimes it's really therapeutic to have someone listen and talk to that doesn't have a biased opinion. It helps me a lot.