will he EVER be served ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
will he EVER be served ...
2
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 12:08am

i'm swimming in hopelessness. i've tried to be positive for the sake of DSs, especially given it's their first week of middle school, but i feel so emotionally frustrated and exhausted. STBX has been "cleverly" avoiding being served d-papers, when HE was the one who told ME i had to file the divorce before he would pay ANY child support. now, it seems, he has the whole city watching his back and assisting him with avoiding the server, which is going to affect our upcoming court date, which probably will have to be pushed back.

he knows soooo many people through his business and just on his own, folks in the sheriff's department who are also probably looking out for him. it's seems like a no win battle. while he's off continuing to earn $10K+ a month, flying his skank GF in and out of town every weekend, being happy, in love, spending lavish amounts of money on her and himself, going on trips out of town together, riding around in luxury vehicles, owns property, etc., his sons continue to suffer & i'm running out of money since i was laid off of my $90K a year job earlier this month. and when i told him i was losing my job and needed his help with preparing the boys for school to the tune of $1,000, which included uniforms, school supplies, shoes, etc., he replied, "you have custody, so you have to figure it out; i prefer to stay out of that. until you file for the divorce and until the courts make me pay, i'm not paying anything; i don't want to deal with you." --no empathy, no concern for preparing his children for school, nothing. just a souless, cowardly jerk who won't even take care of his own MOTHER, who keeps calling me asking ME for money, helloooo, i've been laid off and your idiot of a son won't even take care of his own DSs, just plain trifling!!

i absolutely cannot continue supporting the boys financially allll on my own, without a job, it's just unbelievable how STBX gets to get off scott free and live his life so happily and seamlessly, while we suffer so desperately!

i filed mid last month, and still no papers served because STBX has been avoiding. sometimes i really consider just "giving in" and taking the boys to him and letting him raise them, seems i absolutely cannot get a break! i just can't wait until allll of this is over so i can stop crying every night out of frustration & the dreadful fear of not being able to support my sons coupled with the fact that their father refuses to support them, period. how can ANY woman find that attractive in a man or allow that, i just cannot believe someone is actually with him and condones his cruel behavior---grrrr!!

i absolutely cannot sleep because i'm so angry and continue to lose weight because of this unbearable stress of it all; why oh why did i ever marry this monster!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 3:47am
I just want you to know I sooo understand your pain. I don't have too many words of wisdom or helpful things to say becuase I'm pretty much where you are, except I haven't worked in 8 YEARS. (Talk about fear, and my boys are 6 and 7). My STBX was served at court, doesn't that seem strange. He avoided being served a TRO, but showed up for court on the day of his hearing. I told him, his attorney was served, his family all knew, but becuase he avoided being served it wasn't in affect until it was almost over. Now his attorney won't respond to my attorney and thus again another court date will be moved. I have less then $600 in the bank. My STBX makes $25,000 a month!!!@# Will this horrific nightmare ever be over, at my lowest point I was down to 89lbs, now that he can't harrass me I'm at 95lbs, I too can't eat. I just wanted to be happily married, have a family and be a good mother, how did this happen?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 8:31am

HUGS! How long have you been trying to have him served? I can not IMAGINE how upsetting it is that he keeps dodging the papers. Have you been able to speak to the person serving him the papers? I know in CT, the marshal was just able to leave the divorce papers in his door, and state he was served. He never actually had to hand him the papers. But I know each state is different.


Even if he skips skipping out on getting served, ask your attorney if you can get a court date for temporary child support orders because you're struggling. Even if he doesn't show, I believe they can begin wage garnishment.


This is an awful situation, and I am sorry that you're in it.