Will I be able to move?
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| Tue, 04-22-2008 - 4:55pm |
I have been living in the city (Chicago) because my STBX wanted to. My work is actually in the 'burbs and I have a commute of over 1 hour. It is probably less than 20 miles, but just takes a long time. I would love to live closer to work. I hear that the schools are great near my work as well. But will I be able to move? We live in a rented apartment and the lease is up in a couple months. I sure don't want to stay there and neither of us can afford the rent on our own anyway. But if I move to the 'burbs that would mean changing my son's school (he is in K). Would that be a problem with the court? My STBX has indicated that he wants joint custody. How would that work if we live so far apart. It would be impossible for me to drive my son to school in the city 3 days out of the week and we only have one car anyway which we may have to sell.
Further, STBX has completely messed up my credit by doing things like obtaining credit cards in my name that I didn't know about, claiming that he paid bills when really he just spent money on himself and things like that. How can I ever rent a place now with messed up credit? My job pays very well and I am really hoping that once I take control of my own finances and don't have STBX spending every cent I earn on toys I can get my credit back on track, pay off debts and live well. In the meantime, how on earth am I supposed to find a new place to live?

Amerline,
For starters, if you haven't already done so, get a copy of your credit report. Transunion.com is a place to start. Find out exactly what your credit rating and condition is. The only way to do that is get your credit report. Once you know what's on your report you can begin to decide what to do about it.
Also, if you plan to move, then I suggest you begin researching apartments right now. Two months is not a long time to find a new place live, especially in the burbs where "nice" places go quickly. Also, life and the cost of living in the burbs isn't cheap. (Cheaper than living downtown, but still not "cheap.")
Also, I suggest you consult an experienced divorce attorney to learn your rights and responsibilities in the event of a divorce. Moving a few miles outside of the city shouldn't be a problem, but you'll want to know how to handle things just the same.
I grew up outside of Chicago and recently lived there again for a while. I do know how expensive it is to live there.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Thanks for the words or wisdom Wisdomtooth. Glad to hear more perspective on Chicago. I know the 'burbs aren't cheap, but I'm sure I can find a nice place to live for less than the $2,000 per month we pay in the city. Also, without STBX and all of his 'stuff' we won't need as large a place.
I know my credit is really bad. STBX got credit cards in my name, spent all of our money so that there was no money left to pay credit cards, mortgage or car payment, etc... I have lots of things in collection, but with STBX spending every last penny on his toys there is no money to pay the bills that are in collection. I feel like I really can't start to clean up my credit until after the divorce when I won't be supporting him anymore and he won't have any access to my income. My therapist suggested that I show any prospective landlord my check stubs and just explain the situation. I gross over 70K per year, so that should be sufficient to pay $1,500 rent each month. It is just not sufficient to allow STBX to buy himself new electronics, CDs and DVDs several times a month.
Do you think I should take pictures of the things he spent our money on?
I think that you should keep copies (or get them if you don't already have them) of the monthly credit card statements and request copies from the credit card companies of any applications to show that you didn't apply for the cards, see if he forged your signature (which is a crime) and prove that you didn't make the charges in question, so that as part of the divorce judgment, he should be required to pay the bills.