Will I?
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Will I?
| Wed, 05-30-2007 - 11:12am |
I understand the title of this msg board of course, but really, will I survive? How?
As broad as the above questions are, even I, being male (am I even allowed here?), have nothing but a sporadic cluster of holes in my inner self that nothing seems to fill. I blame guilt.
I don't necessarily need a shoulder, but I'd sure like to hear a woman's perspective or advice on how to survive the excruciating pain that comes with separation, no matter who initiated it.
Thank You,
M

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Hi there... ya know, everyone sees me as the "therapist" too... but the truth of it is, we all need to be fed every now and then.
Glad you're here!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Please allow me to ask a question without thinking I'm any less a person...
Is it better to go it alone through this 'dark' period or seek out a partner?
I ask for a few reasons:
1. I'd love to have a head on my chest at night.
2. I'd love to have a cheek on my shoulder through a slow dance.
3. I'd love to have a hand to hold during an evening walk in the park.
I, however insane it sounds, am not seeking sex, and none of the above are, in my mind, leads for or to it. I am a romantic, and have driven so many away because it seems there are no women in my area, at least, who can appreciate or understand a true romantic.
Apart from that though, I don't, in all honesty, want to go through this alone even if I should!
M
I vote alone. Not because we don't all deserve what you're looking for, but if things are as screwed up in your life as you make them out to be, you could use some time to REALLY find you. Just because you're a man doesn't mean that you're better defined as a person than alot of us who got lost in our relationships.
Do you have a good female friend? One who adores the heck out of you and would hold your hand in the park? I have a good friend from high school who's like a brother to me. We never dated because of the sibling-like relationship. But I remember many a dance with him, many a hand-holding walk somewhere, and many a snuggle in a movie. We're still friends to this day and even though we live several states apart, when we're together, it all comes back. In fact, last year, I visited him and ended up on his lap talking with him and his wife!
Take this time to reflect on what you want and need from this day forward.
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
Not thinking you're any less of a person at all.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
"Is it better to go it alone through this 'dark' period or seek out a partner?
I ask for a few reasons:
1. I'd love to have a head on my chest at night.
2. I'd love to have a cheek on my shoulder through a slow dance.
3. I'd love to have a hand to hold during an evening walk in the park."
No one wants to be alone, but sometimes it is best to let our hearts heal first before diving into something..even temporary. It's unfair to you and the other person involved because you are not ready to commit and they might be. Even if you were up front and said you were only seeking companionship, a head on your chest at night involves much more than a casual date in the park. God, I want to be held too and loved and kissed, made love to, and all of that, but while things are a mess, I just can't. I know that it isn't fair to anyone because my heart is still Shane's. If I don't end up reconciling with him, I will know then that I have the freedom to search for my soul mate, but only after I heal from the divorce.
~Mel~
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Just remember about 50% of all adults have been threw this. So you are not alone.
Hope you find a ally to help you.
I'm glad you see that. I hope you do find a friend. I know it's hard. But if you do not have one you can talk to in person, we are here. Just know this...you are sweet, smart and a good person. You deserve better. Walking away from a bad situation was what you had to do. If people alienate you for that, they are the losers. They lose YOU!
~Melissa~
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The ideal of "worthiness" will start healing when you can find it within your heart to forgive "yourself".
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Perspective (from someone who's basically taken a year *off* from dating at all)......
It depends.... if it's really a want (which it really doesn't sound like that's where you are, but who am I to say?), then go for it..... but if what you're really saying is that it's a "need".... then you "need" to have some time and space alone to realize that any partnership should be from "want" only... and not need, at all.
Sure, I like to have a shoulder to lay my head on..... but I don't need to to make it through and be happy with my life.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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