Wishing I could disappear...
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Wishing I could disappear...
| Sun, 07-20-2008 - 5:52pm |
My husband and I haven't been married for that long. He's in the military and we got married almost 3 years ago. Things haven't been the smoothest but after 3 tours to Iraq and Afghanistan I really wasn't surprised. At the beginning of May we had a miscarriage (I was 5 months pregnant). On top of that my mother had a brain tumor so she's still recovering from brain surgery. I left to help her for 2 months and half way through my husband totally blind-sided me and said he wants a divorce. He just keeps telling me that he needs time to work on himself and he loves me and wants us to be together in the future but he can't do it right now. I am just really upset about all of this. I don't want to pressure him to not get a divorce but he's absolutely unwilling to go to counseling. He always has been. Even just to deal with his own issues. On top of all this and our discussions about remaining friends and working on ourselves and how he can't even imagine his life without me... I found out that he has been talking to another woman while I was helping my sick mother. I just feel so incredibly betrayed and angry, but there's this part of me that just wants him to tell me he loves me and everything will be ok between us. I just feel so conflicted and I feel so alone. I'm the only one of my close friends that's married so they don't really even understand what I'm going through. I know I'm not the only person going through something like this and I thought it would be nice to talk to someone. If anyone wants to respond that would be really great.

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I'm sorry about all you are going through.
I totally agree. As much as I want to find things out it doesn't help me. It won't help me move on and right now as emotional as I am I need to try to keep as much emotion out of this as possible. It hurts that he would do this but I know it's not a reflection on who I am as a person. My reaction and behavior during all of this is what defines me and I realize that. It's nice to have people to talk to though about all this stuff. It's a hard situation and it all is really sucky. I'm just trying to get through one day at a time. I know that eventually I won't have to try to get through each day and it will just come naturally.
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