Working things out..... for the better!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Working things out..... for the better!
5
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:58am

Ok, I wasn't going to go into detail until things worked out for a longer period of time.... but it looks like OW and I have buried the hatchett.... so to speak.


Her and I came up with a good list of rules and I have unblocked her from my email. It's a start. We don't have to be buddies, and we won't be, but I am working toward a common goal of having all 4 of us present at our son's birthday party next year. No hard feelings, nothing but happy people :) That gives us a few months.


Here are the rules we came up with.


Hers:


-no name calling (XH's only suggestion)
-talk about only issues directly effecting the kids.
-stay as inpersonal as possible, the less details the better.


Mine:


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:32am
Congrats to both of you for being able to make this effort. I know it can't be easy for you, and I'm sure it's not easy for her, but if you both keep the goal of making it work in mind it should get easier as time passes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:05pm
WOW.
I cant even imagine that ever happening for me. Hats off to you big time. How did you put how you felt aside to get to this point. The "ow" has twins with my ex. Granted it happened after we were broke up but still. I mean my son now has 2 half sisters. When everything came out and I confronted her she was so disrespectful and cocky. Really horrible. I mean he's not with her now. But do I need to develop a "relationship" with her as the kids are in common.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:37pm

well, in my case OW was also cocky and nasty....... I guess I just have to keep in mind my goal. She knows that the first time she doesn't follow the rules that we will end contact again, just like I do.


I don't have to like her, but she is in my kids' lives...... I don't want the kids thinking I hate her.


Time will tell.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 7:33pm
Want to add my congrats to you on buckling down and doing the hard thing. For the sake of the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 7:56pm

Thank you :)