worse feeling ever

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
worse feeling ever
4
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 2:34pm
This is my story, me and my wife have been going through some hard times in the past 2 years because she had an affair with a guy she worked with and it has been hell for me to forgive her for that and i finally did about 9 months ago. because she told me she was in love with me and she didnt know what she was doing she was out of her mind at the time. So i forgave her because we have 2 kids together and i thought i owed it to them to try and work it out. But, just this weekend has been the worse weekend of my life, it started out that my wife had a golf outing for work and she would be gone all day, and iam going to college right now so i had finals to study for this weekend so my parents came and got the kids so i could study. So about mid after noon that day this guys wife who she had an affair with before calls me and says Is your wife going to the golf outing, and i says yes why, she says is she going to go get drinks with these certain people after that and i said yes . So me and holly show up at the bar where they were supposed to be and they never showed up, they were never anywhere they said they were going to be. So my wife calls me and says im at this roxann girls house and were just laying around because were tired. I said ok whatever i didnt let on that i was looking for her. so i hung up the phone and as soon as i do holly calls me and says "did you just talk to your wife" and i said yes. She says i just talked to me husband too how convenient. And i says yeah she says shes at this roxann girls house. And she says no shes not i just drove by her house and nobody is there. I thought son of a bitch. So I call my wife and she says yeah were still at roxanns and i said you are such a liar, and we get into this big fight over the phone and denys everything and she hangs up on me. I then get a call from holly and she tells me that her husband admitted everything and that they have been seeing each other since
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 8:54pm
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I know how hurt and betrayed and ALONE you must feel. I know all too well. I don't have any great advice, I just want you to know that you are NOT ALONE. So many of us have gone through these same things. I think that it is good that you have moved out, and not stayed in a situation where you can continue to be walked on and lied to. I have waited all too long to decide to separate, and finally have just this last week. I really think you need to stay on track and do well with your studies. I wish I had something to do well in and feel good about myself, and College is a good avenue for that. The word Evil that you use, is the exact word I have used many, many times, and I know how down you can feel at times. BUT, lately I've been considering that maybe my soon to be X, has done me a favor in a way, because with everything he has done to me, he has made me a different person. He has made me untrusting, paranoid, hateful and angry, and I do not want to feel or be like that anymore. And without him, I know I can be a better Mother to my boys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 5:44pm

Amcas,


Just read your post and wondered how things were. Maybe you should get together with the other mans' wife? Just kidding. But thank goodness she called you because this could've dragged on and on without you knowing a thing. How old are your children?


If you are in college, I am assuming that you have a lot of life left to live. Your feelings that you have right now, you've had them before, although this time is harder. Don't take her back. Shame on her and this guy, and you will be better off in the long run. I know that is hard to believe, but have faith. You will survive.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 3:08pm
Thank you for the support my kids are 1 and 3 just babys. And i am 32 years old and iam scared as yell. I know my life is going to change and i am trying to be strong. But it is so hard right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 3:20pm




My children were young, under a year and 3 1/2 when my H and I split.