Worst day yet..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Worst day yet..........
4
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 1:45am

Well today has got to be the worst day yet since we separated...I have suspected that he was seeing someone but had no proof nor would he admit it. Tonight my kids come home from going with their dad and he has the last 2 times had his girlfriend meet them and go with them. He took them to a waterpark and she went and they rode in her truck. I am so pissed and so hurt all at the same time. She even tried to kiss them goodbye...what the hell my boys are soon to be 11,8, and 4. He told them not to tell me because I would not let them go with him anymore....and they kissed and stuff like that while the kids where around. My kids are old enough to know this is not right, how in the hell could he do this to them.

Once I found out I went off....he than stopped answering his phone. I told him while I was yelling that I could not believe that he would bring some random whore into our kids life when we are not even divorced. He had the nerve after all he has put me through to tell me that he finally has someone that treats him good. Well that is just great to know...since she is so wonderfull why the hell does he keep trying to sleep with me...always wants to know where I am what I am doing...oh and the big one it has been 3 months and will not file for divorce. He has had tons of chances I even told him I would go do it if that is what he wanted. After I found out about her I said you are still married and he said in my heart I am not....that hurt so bad I felt like my heart just stopped beating! Ladies I honestly am completely lost at what I do now........I have never felt pain like this before. I can not believe some of the things he has said and done this is not the man I married.

I guess what I want to know is what now? If he is so happy and is in love with her why won't he let me go? How do you cope through all this? I feel like my world is just crashing down around me. Sorry this so long I just found this out tonight and it has been a very rough night.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 5:42pm

Your story sounds a lot like mine. He announced, early July, that he wanted a divorce. Two days later he is dating a 24 year old from his office. A week later he takes her to our time share and takes her on a special date, just like we used to do (down to the exact same restaurant and golf course). He has taken her to Chicago and has planned a trip to Vegas with her for November -- all after knowing her for three weeks :P.
He still has said he would be ok sharing a bed with me -- I am not. I cannot imagine the line of crap he is feeding her if he is lying to me. I don't want to know.
I still have many hard days. We were together for 10 years, so it is to be expected. I have joined a divorce support group which has helped me immensely. It is at a local church and it is free -- not religious either.
I hope you find the strength you need. I am slowly finding mine.

MS Ocp

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 8:04pm

It weems this is a good thread for venting, so forgive me. I have not had to experience the indignity of the OW, but I do have my own little hell and I need to scream it.

Last night my husband brought over his and my son's cell phones and left them while I was in bed. (They're in my name and my son has the keys to my place) So now I have no way to contact my son. Then the a__hole calls me this am and tells me to please pause the divorce proceeding. I told him I couldn't, because the motions been filed, and the sherrif has the papers, and I won't stop it until I have a legal right to see and be with my son. He tells me he's going to come over tonite so we can talk anyway, we've been married almost 31 years. Well, guess what after he got served he decided not to come over, Big Surprise. My son won't talk to me. He's so completely controlled by my creepy stbx he only wants to keep the heat off himself, lest he get accused of "trying to kill" his father again, or something equally as pathetic. So I haven't seen my son in a week, and can't talk to him. I called my stbx tonite and told him he better get my son on neutral ground tonite, or I will make his life miserable till the day I die. That he better use every breath in his body to get my son talking to me, or so help me God, I will use every breath I have to make him miserable. That sorry son of a bitch.

Boy, I feel better now! Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 4:30pm

What a jerk! Your kids are at such impressionable ages and they are probably confused and scared about the changes they are going thru with the separation. What an a--hole to flaunt his new relationship in front of your boys. What kind of woman would want to be a part of this? I have a daughter and son, ages 11 and 8. I put both of them in therapy, as well as myself the minute my husband walked out on us after 15 years of marriage. Though I can't prove it, in my heart, I know he left us for another woman. I have made it very clear to him, thru my attorney, that he cannot introduce my children to anyone he may be involved with for a period of 1 year after the divorce is final. I don't understand why most of the husbands I have read about on this message board think it is alright to put their needs ahead of their children's - Grow up!!!
Good luck to you and your boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 6:43pm
Either our husbands are the same person, or they've both taken the same lesson on how to be a complete jerk! To the best of my knowledge (and I'm sure my daughter would say something) my STBX has not introduced his new love to our child. That being said, he seems to have taken a page out of the same book as your husband. He calls me, tells me he still loves me, is still attracted to me, tries (very hard) to sleep with me, BUT he is in love with the OW! She understands him (whatever), he can be himself with her, he doesn't have to worry about anything when he is with her. He would really love it if we could still be best friends because he knows he can't live without me in his life. Are some men just missing a sensitivity chip? I ask the same questions as you everyday, and I still don't know the answers. My husband told me that our marriage was simply a piece of paper and in his heart it has been over for months. Meanwhile, he left in April and has still not filed for divorce. The reason? He can't afford the $385 filing fee! I have come to realize that some men will do whatever they can to have their cake and eat it too. We have to be strong and no matter how much it hurts, and I know it does as evidenced by the 20 pounds I have lost in the past 3 months, we have to have more respect for ourselves as women and mothers than to allow our husbands to take such cruel advantage of us.
Sorry to get on a soapbox! I just get so angry sometimes and so hurt, I feel like screaming!