The worst is yet to come...
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| Mon, 04-18-2005 - 3:23pm |
I posted this on the Betrayed Spouses board too. But I imagine some of you will understand...
Everyone has said it can't just be about the children. I have said it myself...but how in the world can it not be? I am at a cross roads yet again...and even as in my head I have those flashes of decision to end it now...the unbearable pain strikes me again. How can I ever find peace knowing my kids will grow up in a broken home? Shuttled back and forth for holidays and birthdays and visitation? Even worse, and what I find the most horrific and unbearable thought of all...if H goes back to OW, how will I survive knowing that low class whore is playing mommy to my babies? How? Sure, I will always be their real Mommmy--- so what? Is that supposed to make it any more tolerable to think about HER spending time with my babies? It is more than I can bear to think about. And yet I feel so helpless to do anything about it. These are my babies. I would do anything for them, anything to protect them...but how can I save them from this? How can I give them the life I want for them to have when the very foundation of it is being ripped from underneath them?
how could I ever be ok with her spending time with my babies?

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Oh... we didn't fight either, but that didn't change the emotional toll that both of us were enduring.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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