Would You Recommend.................

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Would You Recommend.................
4
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:01pm

Hello all,
Well here I am starting over with trying to accept and move on from my situation. I did manage to succeed in keeping the conversation with my ex this morning strictly to the baby and that's it. Im taking baby steps.

However, Im wondering that since it's been over a year and I've only had 1 date (by choice) if maybe I should just get out and get my feet wet in the dating scene. There is a guy at work that has been trying for the longest time to get me to go out with him. I've been dodging him for a few reasons. When i first began to even entertain the idea he had told me he lived with his child's mother as a "roommate as neither one of them could afford to move on their own right now". He couldn't give me his home phone number for obvious reasons. MAJOR RED FLAG and from that point on I just told him straight out I didnt have time for any drama, games, didnt want no part of that. He backed off.

Well he has starting to pursue me again, gave me his home number this time, said I can call whenever. I asked what changed, he said they just live in the same neighborhood. But I have to clarify if they are still "living together". One thing I've learned from my whole ordeal is to pay close attention Early On, dont be Naive. So here's my question. Right now I dont want or need a "serious relationship". I dont see him as someone I'd want to "start a family" with since he already has two kids, I dont see him as someone I'd want to "spend the rest of my life with". He's in his 30's. Hell, I just want to go out here and there have some fun, laugh, talk, get paid a few compliments from the opposite sex. You know that feeling when you first date, the excitement etc. But at the same time Im not about to do to another woman what was done to me! No way, No how. So is there harm in just going out with a male co-worker, have a drink and some dinner. Or would this be completely in the category of TRAMP on my part.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:11pm
I think you need to let your heart heal before you get serious with anyone, but it might do yourself good to go and have a nice time out with someone. Set a rule that since there are some questions about his relationship with his children's mother and since you don't want anything serious, that you will not have sex with him no matter what. Take it one step at a time, go on one date and then evaluate how you feel and what you need to do for yourself at that point. One date with no sex and being upfront with him (and assuming he's being upfront with you) will not put you in the tramp category, and might boost your spirits a little.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:31pm

I agree with first......


good luck!


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 1:13pm

You two are like my female superheroes.

SERIOUS is definitely off limits for me right now. I just wanted to be sure that I dont become like "the ow" not caring that there are other people's feelings to consider. Because Im sure my ex told these "ow" that me and him were "just roommates".

My main goal is to just to have some fun, enjoy the evening. Im actually a bit excited, havent felt like this in god knows how long. I hope I dont chicken out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 2:42pm
LOL, well, I would check into his "relationship" the last thing you need now is drama. Also, have fun :) You deserve it!