Would you tell your ex about surgery...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Would you tell your ex about surgery...
15
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:12pm

... the baby will be having in September if he said the baby has no father now. I know he said it out of extreme anger at me for whatever reason and though that doesnt make it right. I just want to do the right thing here. The baby has a sleep apnea ( makes him have restless sleep at night and a feeling of a nasal congestion)the surgery is to remove the (adnoise) and remove the tonsils, not very severe surgery but it's surgery nonetheless.

Would you contact the father and let him know considering his statement. I mean the last time the baby was in the hospital and had to be admitted, when I called him to tell him, he brought his gf to the er. Oh did it hurt me sooo much. She stayed in the waiting area but just knowing she was out there and his trips out there to talk to her really killed me. So when I think about that I'm inclined not to tell him anything. But again that has to do with "MY" emotions and has nothing to do with the baby. He hasnt seen the baby in 2 months.

What's the right thing to do here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 2:52pm

thank you so much for your positive words. However, my ex and I were not legally married. Just living together. So perhaps I should just things in writing through the courts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 3:41pm

It probably would be a very good idea to get a legally enforceable possession/custody/support order in case of future disputes.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:20pm
Been dreading it because ex is so against the court system. He is still pissed at me for taking to court for child support. Seems like he will never forgive me for doing that. He has alot of growing up to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 6:11pm

My guess would be that he hates the court system because he ends up have concequences after going. That's not your fault and that's no reason that you shouldn't protect yourself and your son from any of his shinanigans.


If he works a day job, you might want to give him a week or two notice so that he can take time off of work if he so chooses. Just something else to think about. I also think the advice about getting the phone call overwith as soon as possible is very good. Get it done so you don't have to dread it.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 08-27-2005 - 8:48pm
I think that the LEAGAL thing to do is to tell him.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

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