Wow, HE IS BEING NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Wow, HE IS BEING NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 12:48pm

Okay, not that this is really out of the ordinary, LOL, but he's really been nasty in the last couple of days!

I sent him an email yesterday asking him to do the "fatherly" thing for a change and take my DS driving (DS goes for his driver's license 8/18). I also said to him you've only taken him out twice driving and he needs a lot more practice. Of course, he has been out with me many many times!

So he writes back and says, "why don't you do the "motherly" thing and have get your son to get an f-ing job"! Grrrrrrrrrrr. I could spit nails!

Especially over the last year, he has been not home, or home sleeping because he drank too much, fishing, riding or on his damn cell phone for hours a day with the OW! I mean really, now he's trying to pull this SUPER DAD crap! UGH! This makes me furious!

I just keep telling myself, "he'll be gone Sunday, he'll be gone Sunday"!

He's treated me like garbage forever, I don't know what I expected now. I swear he continues to kick me when I'm down and enjoys it! SICKO! Little does he know, with each "kick", he's making me stronger! HAH!

Hugs to all, have a good weekend incase I don't talk to you guys. Could be a heck of a weekend!

Jenn

Jennifer

Proud Mom of Travis (15) and Mandi (10)

and our pets, Sully the Dog and Till

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 2:27pm

Hi Jenn-

My husband keeps telling me that I have to stop “letting my ex rent space in my brain”. My ex is who and what he is (liar, cheater, master manipulator…) and he will never change. It is funny you mention your son’s driving. A few months ago my daughter approached him about contributing half of the expense for driving school. His response “that is covered by child support”. Then a few weeks ago the subject of her getting contacts came up. He is supposed to pay 50% of uncovered medical expenses. He told me they are not “medically necessary” so I am on my own. Whatever!!! I will be the bigger person and pay for them in full. Why should she go without because her father is a jerk?

It is all about money with him. He told my daughter a few weeks ago that I am a “blood sucking, money hungry (b)itch. He has told the kids how much money he pays in child support and alimony. Do they really need to know this? My son has gone as far as throwing it in my face when I won’t buy him something he wants-“that’s what Daddy pays child support for”. ARGH! And, my ex never badmouths me to the kids (he says). YA RIGHT!

So, I am taking my husband’s advice. Taking the high road. Putting my ex on ignore. The only way I will communicate with him is via e-mail. Mainly because I don’t want to listen to his baloney, but also with e-mail I have everything in writing.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 2:50pm

It is totally sad how men (or women) who do not live with their kids think they are no longer responsible for them beyond their required child support. Why can't they realize that their responsibilty for their kids do not stop once they walk out that door?

Thank goodness I don't have kids with STBX because I'm sure he would be the same exact way are your husband. To him, everything is about money or possessions. Anything beyond that can't reach his head or heart.

Karen, your husband has the right idea. We should all evict our ex's from our head and eventually our heart. Did he happen to mention how one goes about doing that? I've evicted mine a long time ago but dang him keeps breaking in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 4:01pm

Well, I'm sending him a double eviction notice then! LOL, that really is good advice, harder some days than others but I'm all for it.

I just stopped back at work (I have my comforters at the laundromat, he he), anyway, before I left the house, STBX says, "every dime I have to pay you will be worth it so I can find someone that appreciates me"! I walked away laughing! You've got to be kidding me? Someone to appreciate you? Appreciate what?

I had a talk with my mom last night, she knows STBX well because we've been together forever (and I must add, she didn't like the way he treated me from day one). Anyway, she said my STBX is a Father Dad, not a Daddy Dad. That's where our whole money thing fell apart. I wanted to get stuff for the kids (some necessities, sometimes something special), no matter what it was, he alwways said, "they don't need it", or "they're spoiled brats already". But I would like to pick up a special movie or something here and there, bring it home to make the kids happy. He just worked and spent all his money on himself (I mean literally, we're talking boats and motorcycles)! and this was all okay he told me because he worked his a@@ off for it!

Unbelievable ladies. I think because he's starting to pack stuff up he's really ready to brawl. I'm avoiding him like the plague, I'll be fine, the countdown to Sunday is on!

Hugs, and send me some strong vibes!
Love,
Jenn

Jennifer

Proud Mom of Travis (15) and Mandi (10)

and our pets, Sully the Dog and Till

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 1:33am
Omg!!! Jenn, I swear that everything that you wrote about your STBX is exactly how my STBX is... First of all, they are illogical... They don't make any sense!!! My STBX is supposed to send me a half of a childcare. But he is always late... Everytime I call him to collect the payment, he yells at me "I'm not a bank!!!" What??? That's what I should be telling him. I am not a bank to cover his part of the bills until he feels like paying it while he splashes himself with all the money. Just like your STBX, mine has money, but don't even want to buy a byke for kids... My kids are doing fine though... They are very appreciative becaues they know what's going on. I take them out for a frozen custard, and they thank me. We go to BurgerKing, and they thank me. When we go to grocery shopping, and if I grab a snack, my kids tell me to put them down and go straight to the casher before I grab unnecessary things!!! They are also persistent... My 8 year old daughter kept leaving messages to his father for over a month, until she finally received one... Of course my STBX said she is greedy like me...They are sweet and loving, and yes, this so-called money hugry blood sucking B is going to fight for every penny for the kids!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:10am


Wise words, there! I think as time goes on, it definitely becomes easier to do this. But it certainly does take A LOT of practice. It's very difficult when children are involved, especially when you don't agree with things your ex is doing (or not doing!) with the kids. Some days are a struggle, but we'll all get there!




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