Wow, this hurts...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2012
Wow, this hurts...
3
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 9:39pm

My STBX and I will be finalizing the sale of our house this week and it's bringing up all kinds of sadness. I moved out 3 months ago.

I don't necessarily miss him (although I miss the man I married - totally different from man he is today) but I miss my home, the life I had and I really miss my dog and cat. I miss those animals so much and I feel so guilty for leaving them. It wasn't in their best interest for me to take them since I would have been unable to support them financially. Our dog has many medical bills and special needs. I do have one kitty with me. It's taken her a while to adjust to life without the family. I think (and hope and pray) they are being well cared for, even though he has little time for them.

Just having a hard time tonight thinking about the house selling and them all moving. :smileysad:

Also, hating him right now.

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 8:54pm

Libby,

I/we know your pain.  We all have different things we feel guilty about.  We all have sat alone and cried out loud because of our emotional pain.  Time will heal you and God will see you through this difficult time.  D is like a death and all of the changes we face whether it's staying in the house w/o your ex or moving to a new place, it is change.  Change like we are/have enduring(ed) is enormous and we have to recognize how big this really is so we know that we will not always feel this way.  Validate that what you're feeling is normal for what you've experienced, so you can realize that some day you will feel normal again and even understand why you had to go through all the pain.

I was so miserable that I never thought I would be happy again.  I felt like life was a burden and I would be okay if it ended.  I couldn't see things clearly and I thought that my pain was worse than anything I could have ever imagined.  I'm not sure why, but I couldn't believe that others felt as awful as I did.  The pain was so bad and the guilt so strong; how could people I knew have gone through this and not tell me how horrible it was?  How could I have left my ex and not have kept the family together? FYI - they're adult kids and not living in the house.  And I LOVE my dog, so I know how you feel about your pets.  Do you have kids?  If so, how old are they?

I will be around on the board tonight if you want to communicate.  Otherwise, know you're thought of.

Tracy

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2012
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 8:49pm

Thanks MC,

I seriously DO miss my dog and my other kitty more than my STBX. We were basically roommates for years so there really wasn't much left...my stbx was mostly annoyed by my presence but my dog definitely always had a smile and a snuggle for me. I miss that constant happiness in his face. People have asked me if I could visit them but I think that would be confusing for them and even more heatbreaking for me.

Lib

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2000
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 8:23pm
Wow, I don't think I'd be able to stand leaving my pets! It's so hard to have to face not being able to afford your pets, I can't imagine. I'm so sorry! (((HUGS))) Silly as it may sound, I can understand that right now, you probably miss your dog more, and that's o.k. Things will get better.