Is this wrong?
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| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 4:07pm |
STBX have been separated for 7 months and living apart. Verbally and slightly physical abusive relationship. We have 80/20 custody of our kids (both under 5 yrs old) with me having the 80%.
STBX is constantly calling me and comes in the house when he drops or picks up the kids. I have a hard time asking him to leave as he makes me feel guilty, saying the kids need to see us being happy "together". Ok, I guess I get that but he calls me during the day at work to tell me a joke or just chit chat and I find myself talking to him and not discouraging his calling. He calls every night to say goodnight to the kids, which is great but then wants to talk to me, ask how my day was, etc. I've told my DS to go ahead and hang up when he's done talking to Daddy but STBX calls back saying DS hung up on him. When I tell him that I told DS to hang up he gets agitated and asks why we can't be friends, etc. If I refuse to answer the phone when he calls back, he continues to call all night until I answer.
I've tried to flat out tell him to leave me along and only talk to me with regards to the kids he refuses to do this and can't see why we can't be friends. I've tried to explain that we were never friends but this just angers him and he won't leave me along about it until I give in and talk to him and treat him "nicely". How can I get this to stop? I know I need a better backbone but he twists everything around on me and says I'm just trying to put up roadblocks to us having a healthy divorce relationship. Should that be more important to me or should my independence (which I fought to get tooth and nail) be more important? I want my kids to be happy and not see us fighting, which always happens if I refuse to have an "intimate" conversation with him.
Any thoughts you have would be appreaciated....
| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 5:20pm |
