WWYD? Overnight guest

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
WWYD? Overnight guest
3
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 3:59pm

My X and I have been divorced less than a month, separated since last summer.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:29pm

I doubt you can do anything after the fact since you don't have a "no overnights" clause. The only way you could add it would be if he'd agree to it and considering the circumstances, I doubt he'll do it.

BUT..... you could try bargaining..... ask him how he'd like it if you had a man sleeping with you while the kids were with you. He might buy it.

That's the very first thing I tell people to add. A good friend of mine is battling it now. She swore her XH wouldn't live with anyone before marriage because he wouldnt' sleep with her before they were married. Guess what? Sleepovers led to living together and her hands are tied. It's sad that these guys don't realize the message that sends to young kids.

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:30pm

I agree that you have every right to be upset. Not only because it is so soon but I would be upset that my young children - too young to understand - would be exposed to this confusing situation.

My understanding is, even if you don't have a clause in your divorce, depending on the state in which you live, you can still do something about this. Many states have their own guidelines on overnight guests and minor children of divorced parents. I know where I live, you can't have overnight guests when the children are in your custody. So check out your state's policy. I have no idea whether or not you could add a clause at this time that is a question for your lawyer.

Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 11:23am

Unfortunately, my attorney told me that even if I'd put in a clause like that, most judges won't even hear a case if one spouse accuses the other of breaking the rule.... as long as there is not any inappropriate sexually natured activity going on in front of the children.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~