X and the car

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
X and the car
3
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 9:49pm

Last Sunday, my car decided to croak on me. A couple of weeks ago, I smelled gas around the car, so I mentioned it to X-- he is a mechanic, and said he'd fix it. It was a fuel pump that needed to be replaced. Although we verbally agreed that he'd take the car after the house sells, our settlement agreement says: "each party shall keep any motor vehicles that are currently in their respective possession, and releases any claim he or she may have in and to the automobiles of the other". For some reason, he thinks he should keep the only source of transportation that I have at my disposal. The car, while in his name, was purchased for me to use as the family car in 1997. I have driven it 99.5% of the time that we've had it.

Anyway, the car is nearly 10 years old, has 112K miles on it, and a lot of stuff is wearing out on it. Lately, X has it in his head that he REALLY needs the car now. He owns a car salvage yard, and gets a lot of decent used cars in. He himself has 2 race cars, another "muscle car" that he shows off in, and 2 trucks. He's not hurting for transportation. X has been saying "when do I get my car? when do I get my car?" I keep reminding him that I can't do anything until I sell the house, and if he sold his playcars, then he'd be able to afford a fabulous car for himself.

So, all week I've been without wheels, and have had to cancel appontments. X told me that he would repair the car, but he has been very vague about WHEN this would occur. So yesterday, he dropped of DS at my place, and in front of DS says, "I've been more than generous. When are you going to get a car? I want my car back. Get a car, get a car. Put money down." He even drew our son into this-- I simply said, "I've been generous too. Let's not discuss this in front of DS." He continued, saying , "I've been decent when I could have done this: (he flipped me the bird)" -- in front of DS. Then he said, "*I* have the upper hand now!!" And was all posturing, crowing like a preening bird. He continued babbling, while I said, "I have to get DS's dinner ready, and I walked to the front door. X said, "Oh I guess I have to leave now." As he was leaving, I closed the door.

After he left, I told DS, "that wasn't right of dad to bring that up in front of you. It wasn't fair to include you in an adult conversation." We talked about it for a few minutes, and he seemed ok.

So, this morning, after much discussion with a dear friend, and much consideration, I came to the conclusion that if I allowed X to fix the car, I probably wouldn't get it back. And if he did fix it, he would take forever to do it. So, I called the local dealership in the next town, and arranged to have the car towed there to be repaired. The car was picked up by the towing company at 12:15, and by 2:40, I got a call from the dealership saying it was ready to be picked up. It cost over $600 between towing and repair costs, but I didn't have to deal with X complaining and giving me lame-o excuses for why he can't fix it. I hate to sound like a kid, but who has the upper hand now? It just felt amazingly good to know that I didn't have to deal with him! LOL I'm STILL smiling! :-D

I also got to thinking why this car is like a golden carrot to X. His skanko GF has 4 kids ages 4 to 11. Her car isn't that great, and is pretty small. X wants to look like a mover and shaker to GF-- right now they're in the honeymoon phase-- and my car is a good-sized SUV that seats 7 passengers. All her kids plus her, X, and DS would all fit right in.

Oh, the part about him being so wonderful and "generous"? It took him months to get the Discoveries & Interrogatories in, and the financial settlement was over 3 months late.

EDITED to add: I don't mind relinquishing the car eventually. It's too big for just DS & me. It's a pig on gas, and I want something more economical, and newer. It's just that he has so many cars, and this is the only one I have to drive. He can pick and choose, I can't right now.




Edited 1/24/2007 9:52 pm ET by susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
In reply to: susieyippin
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 8:29am
Susie, why would you ever have to relenquish the car? If he has 4 cars at his disposal why would the courts say he gets to keep all the cars in the household just because they happen to be in his name? I mean the courts must know that sometimes people in marriages put things in one spouses name over the others doesn't mean that everything goes to that one person does it?

Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for susieyippin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
In reply to: susieyippin
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 8:34am

I really don't know. The court paper said that we each keep what we have in our possession... X is wicked controlling, and he believes that the car is HIS-- if it IS his, then he owes me for the repairs and the $200 gas per month that it guzzles. I'll speak with my attorney about the situation. If I can keep it, I will. It can be used as a trade-in, or I can sell it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
In reply to: susieyippin
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 8:40am

Yeah I don't think you have anything to worry about in regards to the car. I doubt the courts are going to take a car away from you and the kids to give to a man who already has 4 at his disposal.

Your husband is a piece of work. How aggravating. Hang in there...I love that you basically said "screw you I don't need your "mechanic" work I'll pay someone else to do it" HAHA!

Smile,

Deirdre