X ditched DSs for new GF
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| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:37am |
Grrr! I'm SO mad! As we were all invited elsewhere for Thanksgiving, and I didn't have any turkey leftovers, I decided to make a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings on yesterday (Sunday). I inivited X over (asked him Friday, and he said yes), and the boys were very excited that their dad was going to come over for a special meal-- sort of an after-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving.
Younger DS (age 10) spent the weekend at X's, and X was going to bring DS back and then we'd have our meal, and watch the Patriots. Older DS (age 19) had asked me during the day if his dad was coming over (yes), and could he invite his "girlfriend's" mom and grandmother over to join us. DS's GF and her mom and grandmother are on the same bowling team with each other, and everyone gets along. So both DSs were really looking forward to a bog meal, with pies, crescent rolls, all the yummy turkey day foods.
4:30 rolls around (the Pats game started at 4:15), and no X and DS. They arrived about 15 minutes later. DS is a bit cranky (he usually is after being with his dad). X is just standing there, and he says that he can't stay for dinner. All he says is "change"-- indicating that here was a change in plans. He goes to say hi to older DS, and I could hear DS saying "you're not staying for dinner?" I could hear rhe disappointment and upset in his voice. X came back out into the living room where I was sitting, and leans down to try to kiss me (he's been all lovey dovey lately, and it's super-annoying :shudder: ). I held the newspaper up, and moved away. He left a minute later.
So then younger DS goes and closes himself in his room, and is very crabby and upset. Our other guests arrive (just GF and her mom), and they go downstairs to play pool. Younger DS rips the dangly new ornament off his doorknob, and slams his door and locks it. I go in, and talk with him for a bit, to see what happened over the weekend. He finally tells me that he and X went to X's new GF's house, that he hadn't eaten since breakfast, and that X was going back to GF's house after dropping DS off. DS said, "Dad's probably not even thinking about me now." GRRRR!!! I reassured DS that he was a wonderful kid, and that I was sure that his dad was thinking about him-- how could he NOT be thinking about him? DS was better after we talked.
Meanwhile, DS's GF and her DM came upstairs. GF was visibly upset, and went down the hall towards the bathroom. I walked into the living room, and the GF followed a minute later. She and her mom were standing by the front door with their coats on... I'm like, "what happened?" DM said that there was a misunderstanding... GF said that DS was being a jerk, and ruined their pool game because he was being so bossy (I have a feeling that it was due to his father ditching him earlier). Anyway, DS apologized, and I asked GF and DM to stay for dinner. So we had a nice dinner, and afterward, younger DS and I finished decorating the Xmas tree and watched some TV until bedtime.
This morning, I called X up and told him what happened. As usual, he didn't say a word-- a few times I had to ask if he was still there. He said "I wasn't ditching them"... I told him that the boys didn't see it that way. I don't know how he's going to make amends to the boys. This new GF if his is a real skank-- I'll make another thread about how I met her.
I'll keep you posted.

Susie,
as you know, the EXs become almost "Stepford-like" when skank GFs enter the picture. no matter what they possessed before, be it morals, integrity, commitment, courage, etc., all that goes outta the window for something they think is the best thang since sliced bread.
i'm so happy that you were still served as the "glue" who managed to make a challenging day for both of your sons, conclude with grace and thanksgiving. you are truly a wonderful mother & an inspiration to me, personally.
my Ex only wanted to be with our twin DSs on Thanksgiving only after his skank GF ended up leaving suddenly last wednesday (she lives 2 hours away). somehow, i think my ex-inlaws gave her the very, very cold shoulder & Ex was feeling soooo alone -- awww, too bad (serves him right!) and DS2 begged me NOT to make him go with his dad (he's still angry at Ex for cutting himself off from him (DS2) completely, like for 5 months! i had to convince DS2 that if he went with his father, we'd spend a fabulous Christmas together (just him, his brother & me) with MY side of the family -- hee hee, and to look forward to that. also, i said DS2 could call me on his cell if things got too "difficult" ... he blew up my phone ALLL day :)
anyhow, i hope your sons are doing better & your Ex makes up for his poor decision to choose skank over sons -- talk about a turkey!
...
I understand your frustration with your ex. It's angering, annoying and hurtful when you see them make the new gf top priority over their kids. Something that i'd advise for you for your own sanity is to not invite him to do "family" things at least for a while. There may be a time when you can all be together and have it nice, but it appears that right now isn't the time. You're setting yourself and your kids up for frustration.
As far as the skank gf goes, I feel for you. My ex was the type who was so into a "clean" lifestyle that we never even had alcohol in our home. If I drank while we were out I got a "look". He says he hates tattoos, liked a modest woman and blah blah blah, but now lives with a woman who has been in public drinking to the point her friends had to carry her around, smokes, has massive tattoos (seriously HUGE), and facial piercings. He once told me he thought she was scary. I even confronted him on what a f'ing hypocrite he was, and he told me it was MY fault. That I had broken his spirit and he's not the same man he once was.
Ugh...just ugh!
They boys are doing better... when their dad acts like a doofus, then they get along really well with me. Their dad is still thinking with his , LOL
What is REALLY funny is that I was channel surfing this morning, and on USA, the Stephen King movie, "Carrie", was on. It gave me a HUGE chuckle (see my post about me meeting X's new GF about the significance of that, LOL).
Smile,
Deirdre
I must be out of the loop when I was younger that was called punk.
Skanky to me is someone who sleeps with everyone and their brother, no discretion, has every STD known to the CDC and has no class. LOL and that isn't usually determined by haircolor and clothes. I guess that's why I was a little confused by your post that's why I asked if she was an OW with your ex.
Smile,
Deirdre