X driving me crazy!
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X driving me crazy!
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 9:57am |
My X is starting the "want to be friends" routine. He actually asked me to go camping with him this weekend. It wasn't good enough for me to say no, he expected an explaination. Then the conversation turned to how I made him look like the bad guy in the divorce. I ended up slaming the front door in his face. Everytime I think I can let go and move on he is right there.
(side note: he is not suppose to contact me till at least January 2007 but he was by my house 4 times last week. He served 2 months in jail before the divorce was final because he continued to violate the Judges order. It was hard for me to report him then and has been impossible to do it now.)

hugs... i know just what you mean. and i have been in your shoes --- but there are ways out of it.
let's just accept that this is your ex, for whatever its worht. this is who he is - this is the way he acts. you can't change him and you cannot control his actions. all you can do - is control your own actions. right now - you are allowing him to control you. this is probaby part of your marriage pattern and you are both just used to it. its not easy to break this - but it is possible. the important thing is to be firm (or *itchy lol) and consistent.
<>> well here is a problem - he knows how to push your buttons and you are allowing him. for whatever reason you are getting divorced, so stop letting him make you feel bad about it.
<<>> again--- this is not about HIM (even tho it is him doing this) but about you. he is not going to leave you alone - so you have to set up your life so that he has no connection to you (i don't know if you have kids together?). do not answer the phone when he calls - UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES. don't reply to his messages, or email (unless you have a court order saying that you have to). DO NOT let him into your house. I am not a lawyer but i think that puts you in contemp of a court order. at the least - you would look pretty bad to the judge. if he has a key - then change the locks and don't let him in EVER.
meanwhile - start rebuilding your own life. i think that it will be easier for you f you have other things to focus on. i know that's what helped me move on from my abusive ex-husband.