X filed contempt charges - the LIAR!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
X filed contempt charges - the LIAR!
34
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 9:13am
I am in total disbelief. He wants to play dirty? I will play right back at him - & *I* dont NEED to play dirty OR lie like he does, since I have all the evidence on my side. & given the fact that he has been agreeing w/ the court ordered psyc after every visit with him,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 11:20am

Hi. Thanks, Yes, we did realize it was contempt. But again, X AND his atty AGREED to not pursue visitation, agreed to it in the meetings with the psyc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 10:05am

In the psycs defense, BOTH attys, were in contact with the psyc AND agreed to stop visitation instead of going for a change in custody right away - HIS atty still agrees as recently as last week. This was all in an attempt to intervene & get X to a healthy state where he COULD parent - & i think we all felt that filing for sole custody would inflame the situation worse for his mental illness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 10:42am

Let's say, worst case scenario, you're found in contempt. Let's even say you're tossed in jail for a couple of days (and I HIGHLY doubt that would happen!). You needed to protect your child. Let's say my ex showed up at the door, blind drunk to pick our son up (just as an example - my ex doesn't even drink). I would never let him into that car. I don't care how many contempt charges I had to face, or how many nights I had to spend in jail, I would defy the court-ordered custody agreement to protect my kid from getting into the car with a drunk person. Period.


It's very rare that I would support someone violating a custody agreement and being in contempt, but in your case, I support you 100%. I just wish the court system had supported you, too. Good luck with your hearing. Let us know how it goes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 11:01am
Thanks. I know you have seen over the years, all the ups & down (well, downs! lol) of all thats gone on & what I needed to do to protect her. Thank you for your support. I completely agree with your statements.

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 11:51am

We could go round & round about this. I admit I was in contempt. I did what I was told to do by a court ordered psyc, who is not on my side OR X's "side", he is on AVEREY'S side. His decisions & suggestions are based on his court ordered job to oversee co-parenting counseling & evaluate the safety of his AND MY, parenting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 1:57pm

Rebecca,


I just wanted you to know I believe you (and the pyschologist) did the right thing by withholding visitation. Yes, there was always the risk of legal consequences, but I think protecting Avery was and is the first priority.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 4:22pm

A change from joint custody to sole custody takes an act of some god and then some. It's near impossible to get, especially when the reasons are for emotional abuse.

My XH has that very subtle emotional abuse thing going for him. He met NW2 and the girls were dating her within 2 weeks, EVERY Fri/Sat when he had the girls. He tried to commit suicide a few years ago. He and NW2 separated right after, and they tried to work it out for almost 3 years, all the while, he was trolling for other women on the internet. He never fosters the girls' friendships with other children, beyond those of his girlfriends and NW2 had girls in high school. He's divorced now, but NW3 (they're not married, only dating for about 6 months, but I call her NW3 because she'll probably be) came into the picture before the divorce papers were filed, and guess what? She's dating my girls now every weekend. DD13 has been in therapy for 7 years, and though her counselor says that the emotional abuse is there, it's hard to prove. DD13 told him 5 years ago that she wasn't ready for him to remarry. You know what he did? Got married 5 days later. DD8 is now in therapy, and HER counselor confirms the emotional abuse. He really shows some great love for his daughters, right? Puts them first?

My lawyer said that even with the testimony of 2 counselors, the suicide attempt (by illegal drugs, by the way), and the serial marriages/dating, it's still not enough to get custody. I'm the one who has to take them to therapy appointments every other week. I'm the one who has to see the negative behavior from the girls because they're deathly afraid of putting a toe out of line with him because they KNOW they can't trust him with their emotions. DD13 tells me that she'd love to live only with me, but that "Dad will be way too mad about that" so she won't even go there.

We do the best we can to protect our kids. Sometimes the law is on our side, but the law can't do everything. There are alot of jerks out there harming children's psyches, but for some reason, unless they're beating the hell out of them, they're considered good fathers simply because they say they want to parent. I think it's a crock. Like the kid in Parenthood says, you need a license to drive a car or have a dog, but they'll let any blankety blank be a father.
~calla~ mom to rosie (DD13) and gracie (DD8)




Edited 2/18/2008 4:24 pm ET by callalily65

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:34pm

Thanks Wis! & yes, although is atty agreed, he still works FOR X, & the psyc DID tell me that up front. In fact, his atty could get in big trouble if he DIDNT represent X as he asked to be represented.


As for evidence, & documentation, of course you KNOW you are talking to the doc Queen, lol.


& that Past Due CS, bet his atty has NO clue - interestingly enough, X has lied to his atty NUMEROUS times & gotten caught when i presented the evidence, & he reemed X in front of us all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:36pm
Very well said. As the healthy parent here, I feel its my OBLIGATION as her parent, to use every possible resourse I can ... & LORD KNOWS i have in 3 yrs ... the counselors, the DV center, the GAL, & now ... this.

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:39pm

Absolutely agree - b/c its true. From day 1 i knew that, way back when, also when X was suicidal.

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