X & GF in same bedroom with DS...
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X & GF in same bedroom with DS...
| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 4:33pm |
Last night, 10 y/o DS mentioned that "it's hard to sleep when GF is at Dad's"... I responded, "what do you mean?", knowing that X's apartment is a one-room studio. There is one bed, which is in the only common area of the place. DS said, "The GF is in the bed", I said, "where is dad?", and DS said, "In the bed." Where are you during this?" Ds replied, "On the floor on the air mattress." The room is about 20 x 15... there is NO privacy, except in the bathroom. I'll be speaking with X about this... has anyone had this happen, or have any advice?

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wow!
i agree with you. i would never have a guy sleep over with my children in the house. there is a time and place, ya know?
i have a 10 year old dd. she would be very upset if she saw either one of us in bed with another.
good luck susie!
what
Another UPDATE:
My attorney sent me this email today:
<
Definitely not a good thing to do. He is not looking out for the child's interest which is paramount after a divorce. Will talk more later. Attorney B>>
This is what she was replying to-- my email to her:
<
X's been asking DS to sleep over... DS tells me that GF is living at X's place. Since the situation appears not to have changed very much in the last week, I'm not inclined to allow DS to spend the night if he will be sleeping in the same room as X and GF. DS even told me that he asked X if he could sleep in the office chair downstairs (basically in the garage). Have you had a chance to contact X's attorney about this situation?
I've spoken to DS's counselor, C; and DS's pediatrician, Dr. M, and both are troubled about the situation. C has had more contact with X than Dr M has had, and she does not think that a parenting session with me, X and C would be helpful... X has made statements that C "stabbed" him in the back, and he can no longer be her "friend (he thinks everyone involved in the GAL's report conspired against him). Talk about him not knowing what a professional relationship is! ~~ Anyway, C is more inclined to believe that X may listen to (or at least comply with) a legal authority as opposed to a counselor.
I am fully willing to pursue this in the court if that is what it takes to protect DS. He has been through SO much this year, and I can FINALLY see some positive behavioral changes in him-- he's more agreeable, happy, and is far less destructive than he was a year ago. He also seems to be in the beginning stages of understanding the consequences of his actions, which is a HUGE step forward for him. Because of the paternal family history of drug and alcohol abuse, and with DS's ADHD, he is at great risk for drug/alcohol abuse himself. DS needs to learn boundaries, and I truly believe that if he's allowed to stay in the same room that X and GF sleep in, he will not learn what is appropriate. DS is in the infant stages of maturing and he is so sensitive to his environment. He has told me that "dad has a lot going on right now"-- indicating that he never has any "alone time" with X, because GF's 4 kids are always with X. I'm concerned that DS may regress to his earlier behaviors of fire setting in an effort to act out his anger because of this unfortunate situation.
Take care,
Susieyippin>>
The "new type of bonding" interested me. She is so right... we are forging a new relationship-- both DS's and me. I will keep at this. They say to choose your battles. This is one battle that must be fought for my little guy. I can't wait for my house to sell, so that I can get some quality distance between us and X!!
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