X just broke the Restraining oder!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
X just broke the Restraining oder!
12
Fri, 12-12-2008 - 10:46pm

Errr!!??! Give him an INCH & he takes a MILE.


dd has called him 3-4 times & left voice mails & e'd him from her acct 3-4 times. He hasnt responded at all to her. Today she called him & he actually answered. He was at work & said he would call her later, but he was very nice to her when she told him she got a perfect report card. So ... he said he'd call her later. BUT, the cell phone that is "hers" that he gave her, she lost.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 12-13-2008 - 1:19pm

OMG. I just left the police station where I went to sign the complaint. He is being arrested. I of course, burst into tears when they told me that. How in the HELL can I still feel fing GUILT over what happens to him due to what HE does?????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 12-13-2008 - 5:36pm

I wouldn't have thought they'd have to arrest him either. I've spoken to the police and created a "matter of record" regarding my ex, but he was not arrested. Then again, with the RO....that makes sense. This is a criminal no contact RO.

HOWEVER...you should NOT feel bad a out this. Who is in the wrong here? Did you break the law? No, he did. Are you the one refusing help? No, he is. He is a very, very ill man. he did something wrong and he must pay the consequences. And to be honest, the legal consequences will probably be extremely minor, since this is his first offense (DH works for a police department, so he sees these cases all the time).

You feel bad because you're a decent person. I know this is your daughter's dad, but the man is truly a wreck. I can't imagine what it would take for him to get the help he needs. His been a mess for over three YEARS now. Maybe this will finally be the catalyst forcing him get help. I sure hope so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 12-14-2008 - 4:29pm

You know Rebecca... HE should know the rules... he can contact Ave, but not you.... HE's an adult, he should know, and I'm sorry if he's incapable of that.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 12-14-2008 - 10:45pm

Ok - I'm sane again.


Cripes! That threw me for a loop. I know what everyone says is TRUE. very true. I sank WAY back into the old behavior of guilt & trying to protect him. & the DV victim.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 3:06pm

I am glad you did what you did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 6:05pm

The DETECTIVE should have been FREAKED OUT that he was still saying he still loves you and warning you for your safety...... seriously.


:-)


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 8:49pm

It's unfortunate there was some confusion, but in the end, he still was NOT supposed to contact you. It doesn't matter if you sent him a text (which you didn't...clearly). If he would do a few simple things, such as replace your daughter's cell phone and clean up his act by getting the help he is supposed to, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

And the whole thing about him whining to the police officer that he still loves you it just a bit creepy.

PS - I love to new pup!! What a cutie.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:35pm

If Avery texted him from your phone, is her text still on there? I would be curious to see if it says "I miss you DADDY." because then it would show that he knew it wasn't from you. Also the timing of it--if she had just hung up w/ him and then sends him a text, isn't it obvious who it's from? Or is he really that dense that you, who got the RO against him and obviously want nothing to do w/ him, can really be saying that you miss him? If he believes that, he is really messed up and he needs to be figuratively hit upside the head, which is what being arrested will do. He still doesn't GET IT that he is responsible for his actions. Like the fact that he had been told before that Avery lost her cell phone and he didn't replace it--isn't that his responsibility? She's kind of young to be calling the cell phone company herself, not that they would even listen to her. It has to be the person on the acct. to call. And giving her the "guilt trip" that he's not allowed to call her or email her BECAUSE HE WILL GET IN TROUBLE, then one minute later, he's sending her a text. It really just shows that he has totally lost his mind. And really, this guy LOVES you so much that he has made your life hell (& your DD's also) for years? That's a very strange way to show love, if you ask me. A person who did love you would be cooperative, would go to the psych and do everything in his power to stop drinking & be a decent person.

Liz

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 2:32am
Im feeling fine about it now. He was most likley just, as usual, manipulating the whole thing. AND ME!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 2:32am
Yeah, & although Im GLAD, it wasnt in the paper. I am SURE the detective kept it out b/c he felt sorry for X.
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