XH told our 9 year old about Santa
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XH told our 9 year old about Santa
| Tue, 11-28-2006 - 10:19am |
I dont know if i am blowing this out of porportion, but I found out this weekend that my ex- husband told our 9 year old that there is no such thing as Santa. I am furious. Should I be and what do I tell our 9 year old now that the excitement and fun of believeing in Santa is all gone.

Just my 2 cents - especially since my kids are still small:
I think it really depends on the circumstances. If your son asked, then I think it's only right to give him a truthful answer. Once they ask, it's usually because they've realized the details don't really hang together (flying sleigh? coming down the chimmney? etc.)You don't want to insist Santa is real, and convey to him that he needs to keep "believing" so as not to spoil YOUR fun.
Also, he may have told your DS to spare him finding out from other kids - I would think that most of his classmates know the truth already. You wouldn't want to set him up to be laughed at. IMHO, nine years is a long time to believe in Santa. That being said, if your X planned to tell your DS, he really should have warned you first.
As far as what you do, I think that you just go on celebrating Christmas like always. LOL - my parents still by each of us (in our 20's and 30's) a gift from Santa, and we buy them gifts from Santa too! It doesn't have to be traumatic. It's just a normal part of growing up.
HTH. Good luck, and Merry Christmas.
Rebecca
My stepson
When Rosie was 6, she started asking me, "Mom, are you Santa?" Since Gracie is almost 5 years younger, I wasn't about to out and out answer her, OR out and out lie, so I'd say, "What do YOU think?" and she'd happily reply, "No, I don't think so," and go about her business. Three years ago, though, she figured it out, and said to me, all conspiratorial, "Mom, I KNOW that you're Santa, but I won't tell Grace. She needs to believe in Santa for a couple more years." We had a talk about how Santa, while not a real person, is very real as The Magic of Christmas and how Santa is important to help kids develop an imagination. She still hung on to the Tooth Fairy for several months, perhaps because there's cold, hard cash involved.
Anyway, she has fun now with The Magic of Christmas and helping me be Santa while shopping for gifts.
But on the other hand, XH told Gracie that the Tooth Fairy isn't real (which cranked me off since she was only 6) but she is still hanging on to Santa. And last year in 5th grade science, the teacher hinted to them that there's no Santa (due to a physical impossibility of flying reindeer and a fat man squeezing down every chimney on earth in about 12 hours) and when one parent was REALLY cranked off, I was thinking, "Geez, these kids are 10/11 years old! They can't POSSIBLY believe in Santa!!"
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie