You are all right about....
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| Sun, 03-05-2006 - 5:52pm |
me not focusing on my STBX and the OW. If I do, I am giving HIM control. I have had SO many people I am close to (including members of HIS family) tell me that I will definately come out the better person in all of this and right now "he doesn't have a pot to pis* in". He is grasping at straws to try to keep his relationship with the OW b/c he has lied to her the entire time they have been together. He has fessed up to her about a couple of things (not he and I sleeping together recently which STOPPED when I found out about the affair), but she found some proof of us together (pictures) at recent events and he had to fess up. Will she ever trust him again, probably not and I need to remember:
IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH/WITHOUT HER CANNOT DETERMINE MY HAPPINESS!!!
And I know all of this, but it still burns...AND not to mention I have more inforamtion I can give her that will prove some of his lies to her. But I choose not to contact her, because it doesn't matter......let him try to dig himself out of this mess.

I have to hand it to you....you are one strong woman! It takes many of us YEARS to be able to come to the level of acceptance and self awareness that you have found. Sure, you'll have days where you feel low or lonely, but you KNOW deep down that your happiness is in you own hands...not in the hands of a man that took advantage of your kindness and love.
It will hurt for a time because you DID love him. But now, you can focus on yourself and you healing.
I recently served my STBX with papers. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I still love the man I married with all of my heart, but that man is dead and I need to come to terms with that.
You show the kind of strength in your post that I hope to have one day soon. For now, I am still in shock. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your strength with the rest of us - it gives me hope.
bbalm