You Gotta Hear This One!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
You Gotta Hear This One!
7
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 6:03pm

My stbx has some nerve.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 8:32pm

He's trying to get rid of his guilt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 8:55pm
Hey buckeye......Sounds like your husband wants to "think" your having a relationship with your neighbor, it sort of "justifies" his own behavior in his mind. Remember they are not in reality..they are in their little fantasy world. My H has been living with the OW since Nov 07, I remember one time he had called his brother and told him I was doing the things I was accusing him of....I had got all dressed up and went out to dinner with some friends from work, of course our kids told him how I was dressed and he assumed I was with a BF, well guess what my brother in law said to him " So you mean she left you and your kids and ran off to live with another man?", of course my H didn't want to hear that so he said he had to go..Yeah so I truly think he was trying to justify his actions to his brother, as he wanted to think I was the one having the affair! Isn't that crazy! I would never do something like that, not even now, not even for revenge, even though he has done this to our family, I'M not going to turn around and do this to him. But for someone like my H who has supposedly moved on with OW he sure is concerned about my where abouts and how I'M dressed. I had asked him one time if he had any friends at work he could set me up with, and he couldn't say a word and totally ignored me. I was just joking of course I wanted to see his reaction, but if he was truly happy I would think he would want me to be happy too. But that just goes to show you how selfish he is! Ive tried to reverse our situation in his mind, I asked him how he would feel if he ran into me and I was with another man? once we do get divorced, he is really jealous, why should he care about who I was with?? So that is why I'm not totally convinced hes finished with our marriage...but I sure am getting that way..this fence sitting is awful!!I wouldn't wish this on anyone....okay maybe the OW...that would be great I think..let her for once experience what I have been dealing with for the past 7 months! UGH!! Well I hope your at peace with the decisions you've made and I hope one day I will at peace with what ever plans I have for my future! Gosh wouldn't it be nice to be free from all this and care free again?? Take Care please keep us posted! Marylee
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 10:05pm
Hey buckeye
You are not overreacting at all. As ilady said, sounds as if he's trying to have some control (that's what they do!!) He doesn't want anyone taking care of you, but too bad. It's unfortunate that your nice (hot) neighbour had to have the confrontation, but the guys will figure it out. And your STBX made his choices, and so you need to continue to move on...remember the mantra...NO MORE...
I'm in a place where I really want to move on...STBX keeps dragging it out--court date postponed AGAIN, which means the house won't be mine any time soon. I'm moving on anyways, I have the summer ahead of me, vancouver bound in a week when school finishes...YAY:)
You take care and be strong like you have always been, and keep us posted!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 10:23pm
Butthead! He's just doing that "rewriting history" (or wishing he could--because he knows he's the butthead). Just ignore him. And I agree, don't say anything to him--it will only make it worse for the (hottie) neighbor and your STBX will think he's gotten to ya. Vent away here, but don't sink to his level!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 7:42am

You're all right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2008
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 10:33am

No your not he still wants to pull your chain that is why he said that. Try not to say anything about it as if you were told. You cant let him see you sweat. You are a wonder person

Suga
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 3:06pm
A few weeks ago, I went sailing w/ my best friend, her brother & his GF.