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| Fri, 11-16-2007 - 12:57am |
So ... My husband, out of the blue, just told me he doesnt want to be married anymore. I have been with him since I was 15 years old. We have been married for 19 years. I got married when I was 19 so we were quite young. Everyone thinks we are the happiest couple EVER !! We have had problems in the past, but nothing serious. He's been living the single life, going out with his buddies so I thought maybe this is a midlife crises he's going through. I let it happen though - I let him go out, I never wanted to upset him in any way so I didnt put up a stink and he did what he wanted to do. I have asked him if there is anything I can do?? Counseling?? ANYTHING?? He doesnt want to go. He said it's nothing I did, it's just the he doesnt want to be married anymore?? He's bored. He asked if we could seperate. I could sit here and place blame on him about everything he's not in a husband - but I'm not going to sit here and do that - bottom line is, its not working out. I should be angry - but I'm not "YET" anyways. We have always been better friends I think than we have husband and wife - especially the last few years. So the angry emotions, Im very sure those emotions will come in time - when we have to tell the family and the kids which we have not done yet. Our kids are teenagers.
Im most afraid of starting life all over again. Sometimes I think he's going to say oh never mind - and I'll wake up from this nightmare. But he's NOT going to put me, my kids and the family through this then just turn around and say I changed my mind !!! So anyways - I just wanted to speak out - feeling kinda anxious about the entire thing.

So sorry you are going through this. Do you think there is any chance your H is having an Affair. Most men don't just walk away unless they have somewhere else to go.
My H left at the end of Aug., he was having an affair with a much younger girl, she's 25, he is 43. We too have been together since I was 16. We were married for 21 years. I thought I knew him, but I don't, he is being so mean to me, and we are fighting about the kids etc. He just wants to be happy with his much younger girlfriend, and he seems to have changed so much. My H went out a lot too, and I never stopped him either, so he was out having an affair, and lying to me about where he was.
Sick, is what it is. I recommend that you take care of yourself, try and find out if their is a other woman involved, and act like you could care less if he left. He wants you to cry and beg him to stay, and he probably expects it, if you don't do it, he will be surprised.
Perhaps visit the betrayed spouses board, I know you don't know if he is having an affair or not, but they give lots of good advice there, I love going to that board.
Hang in there,
Lori
Same happened to me but we were married for 35 years.