Typical Characteristics of Codependants

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Typical Characteristics of Codependants
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 11:52pm

Typical Characteristics of Codependants

We assume responsibility for other's feelings and behaviors.

We feel overly responsible for other's feelings and/or behaviors.

We have difficulty in identifying feelings -- Am I angry? Lonely? Sad? Happy? Joyful?

We tend to fear and/or worry how other's may respond to our feelings.

We have difficulty in forming and/or maintaining close relationships.

We are afraid of being hurt and/or rejected by others.

We have difficulty making decisions.

We tend to minimize, alter or even deny the truth about how we feel.

Other people's actions and attitudes tend to determine how we respond/react.

We tend to put other people's wants and needs first.

Our fear of other people's feelings (anger) determines what we say and do.

We question or ignore our own values to connect with significant others. We value others opinions more than our own.

Our self-esteem is bolstered by outer-other influences. We cannot acknowledge good things about ourselves.

Our serenity and mental attention is determined by how others are feeling and/or behaving.

We tend to judge everything we do, think, or say harshly, by someone else's standards -- Nothing is done, said or thought "good enough".

We do not know or believe that being vulnerable and asking for help is both okay and normal.

We do not know that it is okay to talk about our problems outside the family; or that feelings just are -- and it is better to share them than to deny, minimize or justify them.

We tend to put other people's wants and needs before our own.

We are steadfastly loyal - even when the loyalty is unjustified - and often even personally harmful.

We have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2001
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 11:42am

~ cl-2nd_life