Driven to depression
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|Wed, 08-21-2013 - 6:38pm|
My best friend is a man I've known for 4 years; we worked together until he was fired. He fell into depression and for four years since I have financially and emotionally supported him despite the fact he now earns more than me. He has never payed me back any money or even bought me anything for my birthday or christmas.
We have had a sexual relationship in the past and whilst it does happen now and again, its nothing romantic, we would never consider a romantic relationship.
But he is somewhat abusive, I didn't think he was but friends have told me otherwise. He sleeps with me and then throws other women in my face, he never does anything for me, he has told me to lose weight, what colour to dye my hair, even commented on what I should wear. He tells me I am stupid and that I have no ambition in life, he humiliates me in front of people and has even asked me if I have any single friends he can sleep with.
Out of the blue twice this year (the latest being this morning) he has sent me messages ending our friendship; this morning was completely unprovoked. We were talking about a job interview I have for a placement in London on friday last night and this morning I woke up to a message telling me that he was buying a two bedroom place and wanted me to move in with him but in order to do so I had to act like a grown up or else he would delete and block my number which he has since done anyway.
I used to be an incredibly happy go lucky, bubbly person but in the last 4 years I've been on various antidepressants and even self harmed and succumed to bulemia. I just want to understand what I'm doing wrong. When he is lovely, he's the nicest man in the world but I seem to anger him without even doing anything.
Please help, I'm so desperate at the moment and can feel myself slipping back into depression. I don't think I can do it again.