Him: Chronic Liar, Sex addict ME: hurt and angry
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|Fri, 05-09-2014 - 2:05am|
So, here goes...
In Sept I met this guy via an online dating site, we hit it off right away and became 'exclusive' by Oct. He is handsome, fit, charming and a flirt. I noticed trinkets and pic around his house of ex relationships and I found a box in his office with cards, love notes, etc. By January I discovered he was texting ex girlfriends daily and was having what seemed to be EAs with them. We had a long talk and he cut off all contact with three girls (I didnt witness it, but I trusted that He followed through)
He travels routinely for work and went on several business trips, including a weekend trip to Chicago after Valentines Day (which he made a BIG deal about) He went out "with bankers" a lot and went on an over night visit "see a buddy" and I found Cialis pills in his overnight bag. He dropped the ball on me about being codependent and a porn addict, but said he was working on it and was 'sober' from watching porn.I believed He was genuine and was being honest.
He asked me to move in with him in April and I was to move in on May 1st. We started talking about the future and he aked if I would want to have a baby with him and get married. One night He came ome from the gym and hopped in the shower, I was making dinner and a text buzzed on his phone, saying "I tried calling you back sexy" I looked in his messages (I had never done this before) and I found out that he had met this girl the week before on a business stay and he wa asking her to help out a "poor lonely guy" and then it turned sexual.I continued to dig while he was showering and I found several othher women he was talking to. Emails of nudity and repeated phone calls/texts and he was still on the dating site I met him on! The f**ker!!!!!
I was numb, hurt, pissed and I remained cool- asked him what he defines as cheating- he agreed sex and physical stuff. I asked him how he would feel if I was getting pics from other men of their dicks and seeking emotional support from them. He said devestated. I looked him squarely in the eye and asked "Have you cheated on me?" He replied yes and went on to tell me he had a moment of weakness, he was scared because I was moving in and that it was an innocent dinner and run that turned into just a kiss, it was only one time, yada yada yada (AND it wasnt the girl who text him while he was in the shower) so I asked him who Miss SOandSO was that had sent naked pics, he swore she was just a friend and that he NEVER asked for naked pics, covering his a$$ - even though I saw the email where HE said "send naked pics"
I said "You just lied to my face. You fu&ked up and I will NEVER, EVER trust you again, I paked my stuff and left. He called and wanted to chase after me, I told him not to waste his time because I would never believe anything he said. He wrote me an email saying he was picked on and fat as a kid and has not gotten female attention until recent years- He doesnt know how to handle the attention and is addicted to the attention and approval he get from Women. I didnt reply- I blocked him from facebook, email and phone.
I came home 3 days later (it was 2 weeks shy of me moving in with him offiially) and there was flowers and a 2 page note on my doorstep- saying he was a sex addict and had codependency and was going to a 12 step meeting to get help, that he would go to counseling if he needed to and that he would do anything to be with me. I gave the flowers to my mom and burned the letter with my best friend.
2 days ago, I get a message on Facebook from a girl in Chiago asking me whats up. She told me she met him in August and that they have been talking every day and that when he flew out in February he stayed at her house, she looked in his phone and found out about me, but he swore I was long gone and not in the picture. I told her I had been in a relationship with Him since Oct and broke up with him 2 weeks ago after discovering a few OW and that we were going to be living together, which floored her because he had told her he was going to fly her out in June to stay with him. WTF??!! She also told me he called her in a panic the night I left and said I had gone through her phone and she was like "wait, she is still in the pic?" So he told HER he was a sex addict and was going to a 12 step program.... etc.
I am SOOOOOO pissed!!! I wanted to call him up and tell him what a looser he is, as I peice more and more together I feel more and more stupid for believing all of his lies. How many other women were there?!!! I feel like I am in a freakin movie!!! How could a man feel no remorse for hurting all of these women? All of my Friends are like "but, he clearly loved you sooo muh! He was always cuddling you ang oh, the way he looked at you!" I am so effing sick! How did I end up with such a liar, manipulator and someone who was leading a double- no triple life?!!! I fear I will never trust again!!! Are all men this way? UGH.