HOW DO YOU TELL A FRIEND THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE AROUND THEIR PARTNER??!UPDATE

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
HOW DO YOU TELL A FRIEND THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE AROUND THEIR PARTNER??!UPDATE
3
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 1:58pm

SUBJECTREPLIESAUTHORLATEST POSTWell I have to say that I've been very disappointed,sad,angry,and also relieved that I came clean with how I trully felt KNOWING that it would be the end of my friendship with her because unfortunately she is one of those women who will always have an abusive man in her life because she knows no other way.He has accomplished everything that he set out to do...mainly to alienate her good friends..like myself..away from her.I have to say that when I state feeling relieved I feel that way because I am no longer having to deal with that toxic relationship being close to me.I have to thank someone on this forum who suggested that I give her that book to read.Well I knew that I would never be able to give it to her..because he is always around her 100% of the time...she doesn't have her own time...anyways she would not understand the meaning of that book anyways.I have found that I don't have the time an patience anymore to be around women and men who are in there sorts of relationships over and over and over again.The way I feel is that if you haven't learned from your mistakes...then you have not evolved at all as a human being.Sound harsh but it's the truth.


Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001

I absolutely agree with everything you said in the above thread.  That said, leaving an abusive relationship is far more complicated than it appears on the surface.   


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006

I'm saying this because I too was in a toxic relationship so I know how hard it can be...it never is simple BUT those who are in them NEED to understand that it MUST be done at ANY cost..also since then I have another friend who has decided because he's been with his partner for so many yrs..that he's going to give her one more chance..She has been the abuser in the relationship and he had had it planned where he was leaving her while she was out of town,Well he did leave her BUT she caught him still in the apt trying to move some last minute paneling in a room and of course hse cried and balled and was on the floor pleading for him to  not leave and that she needed help and for him to help her because as SHE stated..she would need his help. I think that it's a bad idea for him to give her anymore chances BUT it's something that has to be HIS choice and no one else.

I say that there is life to live out there and you need to enjoy it with people who repesct you and not who controls you.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001

Honestgirl's previous post on the subject can be found here:

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/love-sex/relationship-problems/toxic-relationships/toxic-relationships/how-do-you-tell-friend-you-dont-want-be-around-their-partner

It sure would seem simple on the outside but it's often much more complicated and difficult than simply being able to learn from your mistakes.  I'm glad that you're no longer being affected by the situation though.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_