HOW TO TAKE THIS?

Avatar for harmonyaande
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
HOW TO TAKE THIS?
1
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:24pm
Man and Woman have some differency but for a normal -healthy relationship they have to find the common "gold-line" and don't let the : friend-partner-lovership the fun - open mind - understandig - the will to communicate right for both ,...to go ,... TO GO ,... because JUST to be married without all this is NOT fun and partners become straigers-some sord of roommates to each other - their personality split (home and with friends)-the deppresion will take the place of the most wonderfull feeling LOVE !,... in some statistics shows out ~ 50 % divorce ,...and the married ones ~ 90% are not happy ,...they are togather because they was yerstarday too,... and what i will tell now ,... i do not think help to impruve nor marriage nor ,...statistics

My Lady HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT SEX-SEXUALITY! Dr-PhD sexologist's pro.books-magazines and those helpfull - common sense ideas and teachings ,... manny too manny even PG-13 movies(if is some-few inch of skin or sexy-feminine:voice,move,look,clothes,intimate scenes,softenes,caress. SHE HATE!( to : see,hear,talk,think,joke)about: fitness-gen. magazines (cosmopolitan-o magazine- flex- muscle adn fitness - ,...) . even ! music(if is feminine-sexy-woman voice or lirics about love-sex) ,fighting video games, movies tv-theatre, comic books, music video clips, tv-comertials, sport events(skate-dance-aerobic-gimnastics), or use in the conversation word's like:sex, vagina, penis, brest, allusion to SEX!. SHE HAVE NO THOUGHT'S-FANTASY: soft, sexy, intimate, hot, pleasure-desirefull, feminine aproach-touch-caress-massage to Hersef or me. She NEVER touch herself for self pleasure, She talk about own private wonderfull human parts: cold-distant-with digust (that thing, down there, that/my/in hole!...). hat show out in the rare sex life the sex is fast-emotionless like duty ,...chor !.I DO NOT FEEL HER EXITED-=MISSING THAT SPECIFIC : BREATH, LOOK, MOVE'S OF DESIRE, ,... WICH MAKE WOMAN SO ATTRACTIVE !:-),... when I aproach HER, SHE STOP ME!: to touch-massage-caress her breasts-Her, kiss-massage, Slow (movements body/hand/tang/penis).THE FACT THAT: I TALK TO HER SOFT-INTERSTED TO HER, I LITE CANDLE-PLAY SOFT MUSIC, LOTION MY HAND FOR MASSAGE, LUBE MY PENIS FOR INTERCOSE!ALL THIS ARE TURNED OFF!!! BY HER, SHE JUST RUSH ME TO DO THE SEX FAST, EMOTIONLESS, IN ONE POSITION POSSIBLE(wich shorten sex because of more intense male arousal). JUST EMPTY DUTY - CHOR, I DON'T NOW, BUT I feel: alone, pushed away, disconnected, worthless, controlled(She censure what i read, listen,watch,my eyes-look angles, talk, my voice, emotions, oppinions, ideas, my clothes, how i dress!i am not ok outdoor because of max-continue-paranoic-gelous censure ! even i do NOT have friends-hobby-hang out, we are allways togather, my life is just work- home!.WITH THIS ISSUES IS EXTREM DIFFICULT TO EJOY,GO ANYWHERE: REUNIONS-EVENTS(WORK OR PRIVATE)-PARTIES-TRIPS- DISCO-BEACH!I DO NOT HAVE IN HER a: PARTNER-FRIEND-LOVER!.I am NOT intersted in sex in this circumstances.Please tell me what to do? IF SOMETIMES I DARE TO TALK SHE FIRE ANGER FLAMES and the "FIRE", JUDGEMENT-CRITICS daily...




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:51am
Hi, I can tell you are frustrated. Perhaps going into marriage/sex counseling would benefit the both of you. You may need to put sex on the back burner for now until you reconnect emotionally again. In the meantime, tell her how nice she looks or how pretty she smells...give her compliments. She may be unhappy with her appearance. IF in the end all else fails and you have tried the above then consider separating. Your needs are important too in a relationship. Or you can just decide whether her friendship outweighs the importance of your sexual need...which I would hope it does. Then in that case, just stick by her and support her and maybe in time things will happen. Overall, I reccomend marriage/sex counseling. Best wishes!