i am dating a deadly control freak

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2011
i am dating a deadly control freak
Tue, 03-19-2013 - 7:54pm

i have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months -- in the last few months he has told me about his bathing suit model ex girlfriend on numerous occassions and makes sure to tell me every week that a new random girl has been flirting with him.  But this week was a true winner. 

let me begin by saying...I am 5'3" and 110 pounds.  We went out to dinner this weekend and  i joked with him that I always tend to put on 2 or 3 pounds in the summer (its all that ice cream -- lol!!!) He responded that he will be able to tell if I gained 2 or 3 pounds and he would not be happy. He went on to say that I should lose 8 pounds.  I was in shock.  How do you tell a 110pd woman to lose 8 pounds?  I told him there is no way I will do that and I would not deprive myself.  Thank God, I am a strong woman that doesn't listen to such nonsense. How insensitive to tell a 110pound woman to lose 8 pounds?  Is he trying to kill me?  At this point, I am so angry with him that I just can't get past it.  I am really tired of the mind games.  Any thoughts?


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 03-19-2013 - 9:16pm

You can stop the mind games in 5 seconds - dump him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2010
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 10:42am

My thoughts?  He sounds like a pig.  Why do you want to be with someone like that?  I'd tell him to take a hike.  You can do better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 1:36pm

5'3 and 110 pds, and this guy has the gall to tell you you could stand to lose 8 pds. SERIOUSLY??? This guy is a jerk who does not respect you at all, and if he were my BF I'd dump him in a hot minute. 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 5:37pm

Agree.  He sounds like a loser.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001
Wed, 03-27-2013 - 1:35am

I agree that thank God you're a strong woman who doesn't listen to such nonsense, but it's very concerning that you're continue with a guy who would play mind games, demean you and whom is, by your definition, a control freak.  This is not the action a strong, confident woman makes.  I hope you find more strength and confidence and think more of yourself than to stay with this guy for a second.  I also hope you take a good look at why you've stayed thus far.  

~ cl-2nd_life

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2013
Mon, 06-10-2013 - 9:41am
Sweetheart. Just imagine first 6 months of any relationship is the "honeymoon period" n in this period he is acting shallow then imagine what will it be like after this period is over. U don't deserve such crap coz it will only get worst coz a real man won't judge u on physical level but what u r as a person. U haven't lost much time. Dump him before it gets nasty n hurts ur confidence.