I am finally letting go....
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|Mon, 06-10-2013 - 11:18am|
Ok so basically I thought that someone was a friend to me but has been basically using me this whole time while saying they were my friend.What I mean by using me...well we use to have a fwb thing a long time ago.I didn't want to continue with it and we became friends...or so I thought on my part.
The history of this relationship goes back to 2009 when I was dealing with the pain,humiliation and sadness of unemployment.I met this person through someone else who thought he would be good for me.I didn't feel like meeting anyone BUT I finally met this person and we would hang out at his place.I really did enjoy doing that..just talking and watching movies....fast forward to 2011/2012 I finally got it through my head that I needed to treat our relationship as friends only.And because I didn't want to lose this friendship I realized that I would have to distance myself away from him due to the fact that I still had these unresolved feelings.So 1st I decided to just communicate through e-mail or phone but then after a few weeks...he would contact me and that would start this whole communication with me again...well that lead to us sleeping together later on and when that happened...I had asked to come over that same week to hang out..NOT to sleep with him because I knew that I couldn't be doing this...and that's when he e-mailed me back saying how we have made many mistakes and it would ruin the friendship and we had a good friendship...so I e-mailed him back agreeing with everything he said and thats when I told him that I would not communicate for a few months...well still he would call me and talk about stuff...then a few days ago...I slept with him again...then within the same week I stated to him that I would like to see him...Also I need to point out that I was referring to just hanging out because I wanted company.Now this is just a few days AFTER he had called me and I gone over there...so I assumed it wouldn't be a problem ....Well when I had asked him...he lied to me saying that he might be going out of town and that he would keep me posted..BIG FAT LIE!...
Well I FINALLY have gotten up the courage to end this so-called onesided friendship BUT not before I let him know how he had used me...hurt me,lied to me,and that he didn't deserve to have a real friend like myself.
We are all human and I get about being tempted BUT if you're my friend and you mean it...knowing that you don't have those feeling s for me and IF you were really serious about the friendship that you would help me instead of not giving a crap;....which he never did and went under a false claim of being my friend...This man has really hurt me BUT I closed the chapter on this false friendship by letting him know how I feel.42 yr old man not being man enough to be upfront instead of using me...saying I"m a good person...It has taken me so long to finally chop off communication and I know that I will be crying for awhile BUT the good thing is that I will no longer have to listen to anymore of his lies and his using me.