I can never get away...(very long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
I can never get away...(very long)
3
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:30pm
Ok,


Edited 3/29/2003 8:22:37 PM ET by purpleorchid104
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:43pm
Ok, I just read that and think I should clarify a few things. It's never about just hooking up...he's told me that he always goes into things with feelings...but he just can't stay comfortable. I just don't understand that...but I always end up thinking, well he continues to have feelings and come back. Basically I feel like I can't function with or without him in my life right now. Is there any hope for us?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:31am
Hi, I can tell you are a mess....I certainly would be too. Sounds as though your boyfriend is toying with you. Since you do not have any firm boundaries set/ultimatums then he thinks you will always be there to "fall back on"....sort of like a comfort place. You need to have a final talk with him. Let him really know how torn up you are inside each time he comes and goes like that. Tell him you need a commitment and if he decides to "go" again then that is the absolute final time! You must stick with this..no matter how much he pleads to come back. This sounds like a really tough thing to do but in my opinion...is what I would do if I were you in order to keep your sanity. Focus on yourself and take a break then before you get connected in a relationship with someone new. I also suggest some type of counseling for the both of you together...there seems to be something inside of him that is making him afraid of being commited that you both need to have help realizing what it is and how to go about solving the problem. Suggest the couple counseling first to him before you do anything too drastic. In the end...your needs have to be met too in a relationship. Best wishes and lots of hugs to you!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:53am
You can only control and deal with what you want, need and feel. I think you need to be thankful that he is setting you free inspite of knowing he can have you whenever he wants. You can't force him to want you if that is not what he truly wants or feels. If you are willing to let him figure that out then give him space and time. He may need to have other relationships before he can committ to anyone. It sounds like you keep chasing him regardless of what he tells you or does. Be thankful you are young and single. Live your life and learn from each experience life has to offer. Love does not always feel good. Sorry if you don't like my response .