Is this man worth dating?
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|Tue, 06-04-2013 - 12:37am|
Hi, All. I went out a few times with a man and we ended up in an argument and he hung up on me. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when we got back in touch. He saw that I was looking at his online dating profile and sent me a message saying "Hi". He only apologized for hanging up on me after I prompted him to...A few days later in the messages he posted, he started talking about how we could be "really good friends", and he invited me to a church service. Well, since he was so enamored of me when we dated before, I though he was coming back to date. But, apparently it is otherwise. We had a semi-argument conversation about it yesterday and here are some of the things that were said:
Him: "lol Yes you are and I respect that. Can we start as friends and see what happens? That way it's not all complicated to soon."
Me: "We can. And I don't even know if I want more with you, but I'm surprised that you seemingly got over me so easy.You happened to like complicated before. Why not now?"
Him: "Okay just stop browntresses!! lol I'm not sure if we are right for each other. Maybe our personalities are just to different. Alls I know is it would be nice to see you and go to church with you. That's all. No funny business. lol"
Him: "I just thought we could be friends browntresses. I thought that would be nice. Someone to go to church with once in a while. Maybe a movie now and then. I'm not sure if I want more. I am being honest and I know you appreciate that.I just want to be your friend.'
Him: "You are scaring me, browntresses. I just wanted to be your friend. We hadn't talked in a while and when I saw you had looked at my profile on Christian Mingle I thought it would be nice to say hi. That was probably a bad idea. I didn't mean to lead you on which is why I kept saying friend. I don't have a lot of friends to do things with like you. I stopped hanging out with a lot of my friends when I quit drinking. Friendship was all I was looking for and I do care about you and wanted to see how you were. Please be nice. I'm leaving now."
Me: "You rotten f*cking a**hole. You really hurt my feelings. Here I am giving you another shot, and this is what I get. Like I said, let's see if you can do better..."
Well, those are the more important messages. As the conversation went on, it became more and more contentious with me demanding answers because I really thought this man came back to date and not just to be friends with me.
This man is 49 years old and is living with and has lived with his parents for the last ten years! He was a drug addict for about 20 years and an alcoholic after that. He has been sober and in recovery for 5 years now. He works at a home improvement store, but doesn't know how to fix anything. He was offered a promotion at that store, but turned it down because he didn't think he was ready for the responsibility. He is extremely desperate and has been on an online dating site (maybe more) looking for women since our association ended. He is constantly posting boasting pics on Facebook showing off his muscles (he works out a lot-it's part of his recovery). On one of our dates six months ago, right before we stopped seeing each other, we were in the car alone together after dinner, and he slipped off his shirt, jumped out of the car, and started flexing under the street lights into poses that contestants in a Mr. Universe contest would use.
Anyway, that conversation that I posted above ended with me cursing him out. He then blocked me from sending him any more messages on Facebook. I sent him an email and apologized and I left my phone number and invited him to call last night if we wanted to start as friends and see if a relationship will develop. He did not call, nor reply to my email message. I also called him on the phone after that and left a message saying the same thing. Again, no call and this was last night. This is a desperate and lonely man. I was told by 2 women and 1 guy that this man will be back on contact with me, the woman think within the month. The guy says, "He will contact you again, they always do...". I honestly don't know what I would say, except that I'm not going to start as friends. Why should I? If he doesn't want to date me, he can find his friends from another source.
Do any of you think this man will be back in contact with me? Do any of you think he is even worth giving the time of day to?? And did I come off as being desperate to him? That is what I'm concerned with the most. I think I did :(.