Need help letting go of abusive person
Find a Conversation
|Sat, 07-12-2014 - 5:32pm|
Hi there, My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half We do pretty well and keep looking at our own future together in spite of some very huge stresses we each have endured in our lives that I won't go into. We have had some really good times and memories, our children get along and we are ready to start to get really serious. We talk and dream about marriage often, it would be the second marriage for each of us.
The problem is he has these weird unexplained rages at me. IDK why. I do everything I can for him and us. I've been committed and truthful and work hard toward staying in shape and feeding him and doing everything a good partner should do. But often, once a week? - he percieves something I said or did as wrong and really lets me have it, verbally abusing me, flying off the handle, using all my weaknesses against me, being jealous, using people against me, confusing the issues, accusing me of lying. He can go on tyrades that last for days and I usually check out and stop talking to him until it passes. Because it is so mean, he uses words like F...you, all the mean names you can call a woman, he says I ruin his life, he accuses me of cheating with any man I've ever spoken to when it's not true, he will never forgive me for things he periceived I did...IDK what's wrong with him!! One minute he's perfectly normal and the next it's like WW3.
For some reason eventually it's over and I always easily accept him back into my life and we move on as if nothing happened. I mean, I've tried to talk to him about it many times. WHY?? IDK! When I look from the outside I can't imagine why anyone would love a man who has these episodes!! WHat is it, is it me? Is it him? is he mentally ill? He never seems to even remember what he did or ever admit that he did anything wrong, only says "Oh ya it's all my fault again"...and then uses circular logic to make me misspeak or get nervous and not be able to follow anymore until I give up.
I have to let go- why can't I??? I am a high achieving woman with lots to be proud of including him sometimes, sometimes, others I am so scared of him, then he's back to his old calm sweet self and I can't even conceive of him ever being so mean again.
He's just sent me about a million nasty texts for stuff I can't even understand and I feel like this has to be the last straw, why am I so scared to just pull the plug? I know I don't deserve this AT ALL!!! Any advice pleeeassseeeee