An Update on Me (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
An Update on Me (m)
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 9:54am

Last night he came home and called me names. He was angry b/c the cop gave him a ticket for having no city sticker. He went down to the police station (I wasn’t there.) and the police officers basically laughed in his face and said something disrespectful to him.

He came home and started the whole speech about how if I would have married him by now, none of this wouldn’t have happened. Then he started calling me names. He said I was ignorant. He said all Americans are ignorant and since I am American I must be ignorant too. I went off on him and told him what a loser he was. I also am happy I got the chance to tell him he is a con artist. I told him his intentions were from the beginning is to gain citizenship in this country. I told him he is a big liar for not telling me about his status when we first met. Then he said, “I don’t have to be here tomorrow.” I told him he had to leave. I asked him if he understood. He started playing dumb again. I specifically told him he had to leave the apartment. I told him I don’t care if you leave the country, but you will leave here. He said he understood that. It must make him feel like a man to take his frustrations out on a woman.

He’s out of here! As of today, I will have “call control” on my home telephone. I a footing the bill for that and I will have a special code for making all outgoing calls. That means no more internet for him. Also the cable will be disconnected immediately. No more watching movies and the sports channel on my dime.

I told him to leave immediately. Not tomorrow—tonight. If all his stuff is not moved out by the time I get home, he will still have to sleep somewhere else. He is no longer allowed in my apartment. Also, he is no longer allowed to have contact with me. I am taking full precautions b/c my emotions are involved and this could end up escalating to violence. He’s never called me any sort of names before. I can tell things have gotten out of control. I am talking to everyone I know about this trying to get some support.

Right now it seems so terrible, but I know its not the end of the world.


Avatar for cl_mothermel32
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 10:42pm
Well Spring, I hope you stick to your guns thank you for the update. You do deserve so much better than this, and it is obvious he manipulates you and uses you. I suggest you write down all the things he does so should your resolve weaken you can pull that paper out and read it. Don't answer his calls and if he harasses you, then go to the police dept and make a report, possibly a restraing order if he takes it a step further, and contact your phone company if he continues to leave messages. I also suggest you change the locks on your doors. Lean on your friends and famliy for support, if you feel better and someone is willing they could sleep over your place or you theirs to feel safe. Many cultures men do look down on women as objects instead of equals. I think you are wise to end this now and make a complete break. He will find some other woman to use. Good luck and keep us updated.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 10:25am
Obviously this guy is abusive and yet you stay. Where is the jerk from? You need a restraining order for sure. If you are truly kicking him out, you should have someone with you to protect yourself. Do you have any male friends to help you out or family? Do not take a chance that this jerk is going to send you to a hospital or worse. He's a walking time bomb it sounds like. You also need to seek counseling to make you stronger. Keep us posted on your well being.

Be strong and get your power back.