What do I do Oh What do I do???
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|Thu, 11-29-2012 - 3:58pm|
A lot has happened this last month so I’m going to try and start at the beginning. My boyfriend of 3 years and I have been hanging out at a bar on the weekends across from his dad’s place so we can just walk there and stay the night. Well one Friday night I was drunk and decided I didn’t want to go home yet and he was getting on my nerves so I hid in the bathroom until he walked to his dads without me. I was going to take a cab to meet up with my brother and his gal but that didn’t end up happening. My ex that I left for my boyfriend came and got me and we went to the Strip club and then back to my house. My boyfriend busted us hanging out that next morning. So my ex and I went to his mom’s house because that’s where he’d been staying until he got his house back. Sunday came around and everything went back to normal except my boyfriend being a jerk about the whole thing. Oops! So then the next couple weeks were fine and we moved in with my boyfriend's dad because the house was getting to be too much to deal with, with all the water damage and what not. Then two weekends ago I had my guy friend (we'll call bill) come up to the Bar to meet us because I was going to try and help him find a new girl. Well my boyfriend got jealous because Bill is cute and my boyfriend started being a jerk so Bill and I ditched him. The next night I went back up to the Bar and meet my boyfriendand go home. Well my boyfriend was wasted and when we got back to his dad’s he hit me in the face with a pizza box and then I don’t know really all what happened except that he picked me up by my throat two different times and I gave him a black eye that he could barely open. His father ended up getting in the middle of it and cops were called. Luckily no one got in trouble or arrested. So I packed my things and had Bill come back and pick me up. I’ve now been spending quite a bit of time with Bill and I know he likes me quite a bit and I like him. my boyfriend still wants to try and work things out so I told him it’s going to take a lot of time for me to trust him again and not be scared of him. So I told him maybe we can see each other a couple times a week and he can start proving to me more than just that. Meanwhile, I don’t believe my boyfriend knows I’ve been spending so much time with Bill nor what I’ve been doing while we’re apart. I’ve been a bad girl! But I’m happier and I’m having a lot of fun. So anyway Bill is a real sweet guy, he’s fun to be around, he makes me laugh, and he’s way laid back, and would never hit a girl. He’s a good guy, and a cute country boy. Hmm…. So anyway it’s been quite interesting around here. I moved back to the house and my brother had our carpets cleaned so it’s not so bad and things at the house are starting to come together a little more and not be such a pain in the ass / mess. It’s been rough these last 2 weeks because once again my boyfriend lost most of my paycheck at the Casino when I told him $200 and we’ll split it he took out $600 and gave me $250. Anyway even though the Violence was what made me finally leave, there are many, many, many other things that he does that upsets me, gets on my last nerves and complicates our relationship and keeps me unhappy. So a lot of those things he has to change and work on in order for me to ever go back for sure. So I’m trying to figure out if I even want to wait and find out if my boyfriendactually changes and can prove to me the many things he needs to since he wants to keep me forever and marry me blah blah blah. Yet I think I’m leaning towards choosing to give Bill a serious chance and not with all this bullshit that my boyfriend is trying to prove that he’s worthy of keeping me. It’s quite unfair to him. But Bill knows the situation and has been dealing with it quite well. Bill is always around when I want or need him around and he has supported me through this bs since the beginning. He gets along with my brother and helped him fix his transmission the other night he’s paid for any and everything that I’ve needed so far. It’s absolutely great! So last night I spent the night with my boyfriend at a suite in a local casino which we may get again tonight. Not sure. I think I’d rather hang out with Bill. I was thinking about him most of the night last night when I was with my boyfriend anyway. Well my boyfriend got called in to Drop and he drank so much over the last week because of this we don’t know what his results are going to be he tried to drink a lot of fluids hoping it will be diluted so he’ll have to take it again so he’d have enough time to pass it. If not the judge can lock him up I think for up to 6 months or something. I’m hoping later on today we will find out his results so we know what’s going to happen. So last night I didn’t meet my boyfriend at the Casino even though he did get the room and still no test results. I ended up going home and doing laundry. Bill came over and stayed the night. my boyfriend just won’t let go of this relationship so tonight I have to meet up with him for like 10 minutes to try and get a decent reasoning out without telling him what I’ve really been doing. This sucks. I shouldn’t have put myself in this situation but now that I have and think that I’ve made the right decision then maybe things will start getting better. All the time I’ve spent without my boyfriend and either by myself, with family, friends or with Bill I’ve been so much happier. Not depress really at all. I mean yeah it sucks if I really did just waste 3 years of my life with my boyfriend but what can I do about that?