When setting boundaries backfires
Find a Conversation
|Mon, 02-11-2013 - 1:54pm|
Good day...I am burdened with guilt and I guess just need to vent and see if anyone can help me out. My brother and common-in-law wife (8 plus years) have had a very diffcult relationship. In the summer she left my brother and sole custody of their four children was granted to him. Around Christmas time she came back. I was very unhappy about this as I didn't believe that she had recieved adaquate counselling for all the unbelievable difficulties she has had and the alcohol abuse. So I pulled back, tried to set boundaries that I would be there for the kids but that I could not support the decision that they were back together. My brother told me many times that their relationship was back on track and that they were doing really good. I didn't believe any of this because of things the kids would say and they way they were acting out. So this weekend my brother was going to be coming up to my parents place which they have also made it pretty clear that she is not welcome. Of course, she didn't want to be there and this lead to a huge fight and now my SIL has a restraining order against her. My brother is devastated and I am feeling guilty because her inlaws which includes me made it pretty much impossible for them to be together. My brother keeps saying we were doing so good so I feel like he is also putting some blame on us for not supporting them.