1.7 million in accumulated debt behind my back....shocking

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
1.7 million in accumulated debt behind my back....shocking
16
Sat, 02-04-2012 - 12:07am
I am soo torn... Starting on Tuesday the news of hidden acquired debt over the past 7 or so years has surfaced. Tues it was 600k and now it's up to1.7 millin and would not be surprised if it goes up. My H has run a plumbing company for he past 12 years which which Ended up looking viable to outsiders as he has 20 odd guys working for him and some good contracts. Little did anyone know that due to his lack of business skills and ego, he was unable to admit defeat at any point and instead borrowed what he could from who ever he could convince It was an investment. Because he is genuinely an honest trustworthy good and well liked person....these friends and family believed he would never screw them. His intentions never were to do it, he truly believed he would pay them back but it got to the point where the business could no longer survive and hence there was no chance of ever having the money returned to the dear lenders....the only reson I survived as long as it did was because of the loans from trusting friends and family. Even me his wife had no clue of any of this...just the 300g of my personal money that I gave to him for apparent Supplies that needed paid that he wasn't expecting the money in till next week. I never seen it. Refinance of house over and over again and a few grand here and 70 there...all for his confident dream of a successful business. So now...it's payback time for life. He has squeezed dry lemons dryer and messed up a lot of people's finances. So We're left with nothing... Maybe the house still but refinanced to the max. So if I stay I will be looked down by all and expected to contribute. If I leave ....our kids will be devastated and I fear what extremes he will go to from a result of not having us. So I leave him high and dry or stick around? I do love him but the stress all this is killing me. Thanks for sharing ant Y similar experiences and any feedback/insight

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

The first thing that you need to do is consult a lawyer who specializes in bankruptcy to see what kind of solutions are out there--whether he has to close the business or whether he can do chapter 11--you also need to know if you are personally responsible for any debts, and if BR is the solution you might have to do a joint BR.

I can definitely understand that you are upset at being kept in the dark over your DH's financial condition but I can't understand wanting to get a divorce cause you think people will "look down on you."

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Music is right. You need the advice of an attorney and you need it NOW! Not just a bankruptcy attorney but an attorney who specializes in defending swindlers. Yup, your husband swindled people out of their money by promising them a return or a good return. You're not just in debt; he's going to jail.

Get legal advice and get it now! This house of cards is about to come down on top of both of you. P.S. EVERYTHING you have will be sold to satisfy creditors. EVERYTHING. So get legal advice and get it now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I don't think you need to present this type of picture--first of all, when people go bankrupt, they definitely do not have to sell everything to satisfy creditors--there are many things they can keep--sometimes including their house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

Ill admit it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011

I agree with Music, you BOTH need t see the attorney together, and see what needs to be done. Seperately from that, marriage counseling to see how this happened, and owrk out if you can save the marriage.

I would not care what people think, the main concern is your childen. IF you love him and were happy in the marriage, then work to keep up. Its a tough economy, and should your H habve asked for help? Sure, but hindsight is 20/20. Its a lot of money to be in debt,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004

I had something similar but not as extreme.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

so did you know before you married your ex that he ran his business into the ground and how did you know about his exwife?

I am also wondering where did your ex go when he was supposed to be going to work??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

Doimyy, I'm sorry, but he is NOT honest and trustworthy.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

IMO you will need lawyers and a cpa to get the books in order.

Goldfish

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wow, what a shock that must have been to you. My folks have always been sort of in a position to help out family and close friends. But they've always done it with a written contract so that everyone understood what was expected. One of the things that they always required their borrowers to do was take out a life insurance policy for the full amount of the debt, naming my folks beneficiaries. That way, even if the party didn't pay while they were alive, once they passed on, the money was returned to my folks. So far, we've only had to collect on one. Everyone else has paid as they were supposed to. So that might be something that you could look into. At least, there's the "prospect" of all these good folks getting their money back eventually. I know it sounds a little cold, but hey, it IS one way of dealing with it. And from now on out - if he even whips out his wallet to pull out a dollar bill, stick your nose in and ask him what the heck he's doing with that money. Sounds to me that it's time for you to take over the financial reins and clip his little money wings. Good luck, there's nothing like financial disaster to stress a marriage to the breaking point. In addition to talking to an attorney - y'all would probably do well to go talk to someone in the debt counseling field. Best wishes.

Mama Harmony

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