another chance ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2012
another chance ?
6
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 2:21pm
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year (on and off) ... I caught him talking to his ex and a few other girls on his facebook... it has caused a lot of problems in our relationship.... I finally decided to call it off for good (so I thought) until he wrote me a 'suicide note' and left it on my door.. I know I love him and want to be with him, but its just hard to trust him... well after I got the note we had a talk and decided to give it one more shot.. he even moved in with me and my son in december.. he was registered for a sex website and I got upset about it... he deleted the account... I still dont fully trust him and sometimes go through his phone just for the reassurance.... this morning going through his emails I saw stuff for myyearbook... didnt think anything bad of it (besides why he wouldn't say he had gotten one) ... I know he uses the same password got everything so I logged in from my phone after he left for work, and there he was taking to some 39 year old bitch .. I started texting him about it and he kept denying he even had such an account... even when I told him repeatedly that I had seen it alll.... he then tells me I'm triiping and got nothing to worry about that the account was just for "shts and giggles" ... I feel betrayed because why is there a need to talk to any other girl, especially if he loves me like he says and lie about it .. idk if I should give him another chance our just let him pack up and leave... I know its going to break my heart (and my sons) to watch him leave, but I just dont know what to do any more ....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 2:49pm

tee_ob, his suicide note was an attempt (a successful one) to manipulate you into staying with him in spite of his transgressions against you.

I don't know why you would move your son in with a man who:

1) was on his last chance for a relationship with you

2) appeared to be suicidal

3) is not really faithful to you or trustworthy

You should have left already. At least if YOU leave HIM, you get to keep your dignity in tact. Don't let him continue to manipulate you. You should be DONE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2012
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 3:13pm
he swore the note wasn't to get me back... that it was all his feelings ... and that he did attempt to kill himself (with sleeping pills and nyquil) ... he said he just couldn't live anymore knowing that he hurt the one person he ever truly loved and that there was no reason in living ... I do feel our was just to get me back ... we have been through so much, and my son loves him as well .. its always easier said than done ... but thank you... it is time for him to leave ... I know I deserve better and so does my son ... I deserve to be genuinely happy, and if I stay with him that will never be ... thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 3:27pm

"he swore the note wasn't to get me back... that it was all his feelings ... "

He swore, so you believe him?

"and that he did attempt to kill himself (with sleeping pills and nyquil) "

People don't TRULY attempt suicide by taking sleeping pills an nyquil.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 12:19am

I agree w/undercovercrab!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 10:24am

I agree with the other posters.

Your post doesnt make a whole lot of sense to me.. You take in a man whom you dont trust and who said he was going to commit suicide????? Yes; its total manipulation and as long as you enable him he will continue to do the same thing over and over and your poor son will be in the crossfires..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 12:36pm

<< he wrote me a 'suicide note' >>

Keep in mind that more people are murdered by suicide 'victims' in the course of their suicide than the number of suicide 'victims' themselves and the usual targets of those murders are 'loved ones.'

Great way to show love, eh?

So, are you up for some adventure should you stick with this guy?